NEW Painted Body Series #39-Turquoise Pendelton Blanket with Mudcloth

I am in LOVE with this newest set of photographs taken here on the land in New Mexico. The Painted Body ritualistic photography series has been one of the great loves of my life, as is the powerful earth here in the land of enchantment.

It is not an easy place to live. The desert is like The Dark Mother wielding her sword, “we shall cut this away NOW!” You do not marinate in your process here as you might in a more watery or relaxing place. Because of three very intense years here, and a need for more juiciness mixed with a deep inner-knowing that I am to learn Spanish, I am leaving. Look for me teaching and divining on the west coast this spring after I finish the book that accompanies my Oracle of Initiation deck.

I do not know if I will return to this lover, the land,  or if my wandering shall call me elsewhere, but I do know I have been blessed beyond reason with my creative & spiritual relationship to this place.

So on this windy day in Abiquiu I started my goodbyes. It was rough. And it was beautiful. This canyon may be my favorite place on the planet. I am so irrationally happy and at peace there. Something happens in a place where one is so happy. I look more alive, more beautiful in any photographs you will see of me there. I am fully me.

I will ask for love and faith as I step away from a home that has met me in ways I never knew possible, and may or may not be my daily dance partner in the future. We shall see. They say when New Mexico claims you, you will always be back. At least I am humble enough to realize I don’t really know where my path shall lead.

Blessings to the land, The Painted Body series, and my Oracle of Initiation deck that all emerged here.

I wrote this on facebook in response to others appreciation of the work: “The vibrant blue Pendelton blanket crown looks incredible with the stark-white canyon walls and equally arresting turquoise sky. There is a lushness to the primary colors vibrating off of the rugged, fraying African mudcloth. Cool man…life is beautiful…”

Margi Halfon’s Painted Body Initiation into the Hidden Petra-like New Mexico Desert

Petra is a DreamTime place. It is a magical and cloistered city tucked away in the desert cliffs of Jordan. The first time I saw an image of the huge temple facade peeking though a slender opening in the canyon walls I was stunned. I have yearned to walk through that portal into that otherworldly place since that day. I had no idea that through moving to New Mexico I was entering the same landscape as “a rose-red city half as old as time.”

Petra

Like Petra, New Mexico is an enchanted and mysterious place. It has its own hidden canyons, caves and tunnels. I have made it my work to enter these worlds and dance with the energies. The Painted Body ritualistic photography series emerged from these explorations in graffiti strewn tunnels and waterways. Now I am sharing these adventures with other brave souls, and we are embracing our fierceness and joy through these initiatory photo shoots.

Margi Halfon is a complex and magnetic person. She has her own deep cloistered parts, and is also a sparkly and engaging spirit. She and her partner Sean Tebor’s vision is to weave together yoga, dance and Tarot creating a community gathering place where Santa Fean’s can explore and embody their own juicy vitality.

Margi entered this Painted Body Process from a place of surrender and awe. She had recently gone through some intense personal shifts and was ready to meet the earth and herself through this collaborative ceremonial process. Throughout the journey she kept pointing out how much the land reminded her of Petra. She had been fortunate enough to visit as a younger woman when she lived in Israel. I had not shared with her yet that I pulled some of my own Oracle of Initiation divination cards and The Stargate deck by James F. Jereb before we met. Both of our ‘Masters of the Stargate’ cards were Egyptian. I found the parallels between her recognition of Petra similarities to this place and each of our connection through the cards to Sekhmet and Re incredible. The world NEVER ceases to amaze me.

Margi and I in a Petra-like portal created by the camera...life is so fascinating

As we wound our way back into my secret cathedral in the stones I was aware of what a gift I have been given by having such a sacred place for my soul. Margi illuminated how rare it is to have a relationship that feeds and nurtures me so deeply. It really is my hidden sacred temple. It is home. The feelings of love, joy, peace and belonging I experience there is what I have always dreamed of. This knowing of my connection to the land is part of the wisdom I share when I take people on these initiatory journeys; a gateway into their own re-enchantment with the Earth Mother.

During the Painted Body process different people need different things. At times the Painted Body shoots have been very shamanic and intense, at other times playful and inquisitive, but always potent and visceral. It really calls forth what transformation that person needs at that time. The process always offers a doorway into delight and wonder through engaging with the raw natural world. The exposure of the nudity, the sensuality of the paints and the soil, the freedom of flowing through the ritualistic container that we create all offer an opening into ones true essence. That really is our work, to reclaim our own inner knowing and engage with life from that innate radiance. We are all creative, passionate, powerful people when we release old programs and constrictions connecting to our pure potential.

Margi met this place of pure potential. She embodied her regalness, her reserve, her exuberance, her vulnerability and her unbridled joy. She danced her own rhythms, she touched her own depths, and the canyon, camera and I witnessed her majestic Spirit. It was an honor to share this experience with her. Life is beautiful. Thank You.

www.OracleofInitiation.com

Water like Fire-Lyric Kali’s Water Spirit Initiation

I.

Water in the desert is extremely precious. I grew up in the lush and mossy Northwest where the water element could be overly abundant at times. Moving to the Southwest has completely changed my relationship to this fundamental structure of life. Many times I will go exploring in the wild and not hear or feel the direct presence of water. This is truly like being a fish out of water.

One of my favorite places on earth is Abiquiu, New Mexico. I fell in love with this magical place three years ago when I visited The Ghost Ranch for the first time. This is the land Georgia O’Keefe claimed as her own, her sacred place; exploring & painting the mesas, arroyos and geological wonders of this expansive landscape for the last fifty years of her life. Abiquiu captured my heart and soul as well, it is the terrain of all of the “above ground” Painted Body images in my Oracle of Initiation deck.

Over two years ago I opened my solitary work with the Painted Body ritualistic photography series to collaborations with others artist, mystics & adventurers. I am thrilled to share some of the images that were created yesterday in a rainstorm with the fierce and earthened Lyric Kali. Lyric is one of those people you do not forget. When you meet her she glows. She is passionate, outspoken, perceptive and fascinated by the complexities of people’s engagement with life.

She is alive. She can also be intimidating depending on how comfortable you are with your own strength.  Her work is inspiring people through her own story of struggling with self-worth through her physical form. The ways we accept or isolate ourselves because of the size, shape, or color of our bodies. She is a brave woman who embraces the underworld descent as an essential component to reaching the upper world expansion. She carries duality and paradox in a way few people can manage. She is a vision of walking your talk, even with its uncertainties and insecurities. I honor her ability to grab life and ecstatically dance with it.

Lyric became archetypal during this photo shoot. She became the flowing earth; she became the blood red water; she became the flames of power that were pounding off the rocks. She was the graceful bird, the sturdy  rock, the timid maiden, the shape-shifiting priestess, the fertility Goddess in all her glory. She was The Feminine in all its various guises. It was a great honor to witness her beauty through merging with beloved Oshun, the water deity of unbridled passion and delight.

II.

I too had my own initiation with the Water Spirits surging over the canyon walls. I want to point out again the rare opportunities running water in the desert affords. I have been to my blessed Rainbow Canyon at least 40 times. I have seen running water in it TWICE. Both of those times have been in the last three weeks.

It has been my dream since moving to New Mexico to actually see what a flooding arroyo looks like. I was warned that you could be swept away by the strong torrents of rushing water when the sky really opens up. I had never been at the right place at the right time to experience this primordial force. About three weeks ago I did a major release of some fundamental pieces of my life. I had done a process and closed the door on a series of choices and relationships that no longer served me.  Part of the process was to burn some sacred items. I knew I needed to bury the remains in my beloved canyon, for mama earth the transform them.

The day I went up to bury the shards the sky was dark gray; very foreboding. After surrendering my offering to the holy dirt the rains began. The Thunder Beings danced across the skies and the deluge began. It came on so quickly I could understand the warning about being taken away by the currents. I finally got to experience my sacred place when she is drenched in water. I got to hear the sounds, smell the soaked earth, see the channels of red earth merge into the stream. It was incredible. She became alive in ways I had never seen. It literally was the greatest gift I could receive. My prayers of self-liberation were answered with the best day ever. I was soaked and muddy when I walked back along the slippery road to my car. I was totally full and beaming with gratitude and joy. How could it get any better than this?

As I absorbed all of the sights and sounds of this unknown aquatic desert world I heard a powerful sound. I thought it was the reeds in the river beings whipped around by the wind. As I looked at the reeds they were still. What was this jet engine sound echoing off the canyon walls? As I looked ahead there was a massive waterfall pouring off a high bluff across the river. I was stunned. I had never witnessed the water in that way. It was as if the world was upside down, completely changed. Dry one day, moist the next. The oceans returned to this ancient land.

Blood Red Rio Grande

I yearned to baptize my new identity under its powerful vitality, but there was no way to cross the river. I stood honoring this unique miracle and then continued up the road. As I rounded a corner…the angles kissed me. A blood red, wild, rushing flow of water was leaping and pounding over the rocks on MY SIDE!!!

I sat beside the watery temple both entranced and intimidated by its fierceness. I asked my Spirits if I should go in….and they said “naw.”  hmmmm. It was such a calm and centered No that I trusted it. I did analyze why I wouldn’t. This is ME. This is the woman I have become, a woman who disrobes and meets the rushing water at its source. And I got a NO. And I trusted it. So I sat and communed with the flowing altar for a bit. Out of nowhere a little truck comes chugging by; a young couple were out exploring. OH, that is why I was held back. After they passed I asked again, I got a definite yes. So I too, as Lyric just did, met the Water Spirits here on this arid desert landscape.

After each of our immersion rituals the skies cleared and the sun returned warming our satiated bodies.

What a blessed, blessed life it is.

Yraceburu EarthWisdom Indigenous Grandmothers Summit Celebrating Turtle Island in New Mexico

Next week I am blessed to be attending a gathering of indigenous Grandmothers and Elders celebrating Turtle Island here in New Mexico. Yraceburu EarthWisdom through their Sisters’ of Honua organization are hosting this powerful event. I will be undergoing the Kokua Guardian Training, a very subtle and intuitive way of serving Elders as they offers their wisdom and gifts within a community setting. I have included below a description of the event and the insightful article Maria Yraceburu wrote on how to truly serve an Elder through looking out through their perspective, not yours. If you wish to learn more about Yraceburu EarthWisdom and their teaching go to

http://www.yraceburu.org/

Gathering of Hope, Gathering of Future… uneasy embrace… created by women.  Searching, insists that it’s Now and Here.  We cruise slowly through hundreds of beliefs curving down to earth like the rich, vibrant rain of life.  Sweet success… oh Sacred Sisters, we’ve found the freedom.  Hold onto your dreams.  Breaking out, as you fly in… see the wink of pristine and lush truth of the ancient feminine.  The days are over to work underground.  Tasting freedom.

At the core of our Annual Grandmothers Summit Celebrating Turtle Island is a basic yet sophisticated understanding of the primary functions and power of women as representatives of the planet we call Earth Mother. To read more about The Grandmothers Summit or order the visionary book Prophetic Voices of The Sisters of Honua featuring many of the Elders from this summit speaking of these changing times go to:

http://www.sistersofhonua.org/

Learn from complementary worlds.  Grandmothers and Wisdom Keepers from traditions all over the world will be in attendance at this retreat to share teaching in a tranquil environment that is perfect for the re-establishment of feminine principles.  The true uniqueness of this retreat is due to the meeting of ancient ways the Four Corners of Earth.  Knowledge will be shared and feminine principles for the future pursued in the pristine mountains of northeastern New Mexico.  Living in a traditional camp setting, enjoying the beauty of the land and the teachings of those that come together with something to say that is very relevant in the here and now.  The way of Women and this moment in history hold a rare opportunity for all.  Our Grandmothers and WisdomKeepers bring with them years of personal practice and experience in their fields.  Humor and practical teaching combined with special life in a completely feminine camp are healing in themselves.

Yraceburu EarthWisdom’s Sisters of Honua Project is honored to host this retreat, providing you with the opportunity to hear our Women’s Legacy and participate in circles of discussion concerning our future.  Whether listening to stories around a campfire accompanied by the calls of owls or collecting wisdom from ancient trees, it will be an experience that will remain in your heart.

Kokua Guardian Training overview

Traditional Elders have the capacity to communicate without words, they have a rich language of their own that utilizes sight, sound, and energetic sensory awareness that eloquently expresses their intent and feelings to their guardians.  Your ability to understand this ya’odishiyo – from where we look out – communication and its particular setting is the cornerstone of working with a Traditional Elder.  Being an akicita – guardian, really means understanding what an Elder is communicating to you, not just what you think might be.  By taking into account the dynamic interaction of various forms of multidimensional communiction techniques, you can serve with ease and grace, becoming a valued and sought after guardian.

Maria Yraceburu

Creative Guardianship 101

by Maria Yraceburu

Egyptian tombs… Russian songs… clans of Native America… Australian Dance… Greek and Roman myth…

Many people come to me wanting to work with Traditional Indigenous Elders.  I have been fortunate enough to grow up around individuals of high spiritual nature and ritualistic lifestyle.  I have been honored to serve many, beginning, but not limited to my grandfather, an Apache HolyMan.

Traditional Elders have the capacity to communicate without words, they have a rich language of their own that utilizes sight, sound, and energetic sensory awareness that eloquently expresses their intent and feelings to their guardians.  Your ability to understand this ya’odishiyo – from where we look out – communication and its particular setting is the cornerstone of working with a Traditional Elder.  Being an akicita – guardian, really means understanding what an Elder is communicating to you, not just what you think might be.  By taking into account the dynamic interaction of various forms of multidimensional communication techniques, you can serve with ease and grace, becoming a valued and sought after guardian.

One of the things we stress is patience and making yourself a student of observation.  Over zealous service and assumptions often close an Elder down to your true intent.  This behavior is common in individuals needing validation of their own power, it is a sign to the Elders that they will end up spending a great deal of time taking care of their guardian, not receiving the help they need from their guardians when working in ceremony and public settings.  As your relationship and understanding of traditional ways mature, apprenticeship into the nature of life’s mysteries simply unfold with growing trust.  If you observe an akicita greeting an Elder, it is always a confident, yet humble approach, never assuming, always bearing a gift of honoring – and ALWAYS being accepted in joy by the Elder. The expression of honor is received gracefully, with an attitude of acceptance by the Elder.  The Elders understands the intent completely.

Unfortunately many beginning guardians try to assume what an Elder needs and try to satisfy needs where there are none.  I recall one frustrated Elders who asked me, “Why do they assume, are they not here to learn?  Every time I try to share what is needed I am cut off by over talking.  I become quiet, give the look that tells to be silent and pay attention, they are assuming and not receiving, but it only gets worse.  Now I have to spend the time we are working with others, constantly correcting the one who is suppose to assist.  Can you train them, so they understand?”

The guardian didn’t understand what the Elder’s communication meant.  By misinterpreting the Elder’s signals and energy, the guardian actually created more work in a less harmonious manner, than it would have been for the Elder to work alone.  Acting on assumptions based in general societal experience created the problem, making the Elder less receptive to help from anyone.  the proper protocol is to watch and learn and ask in the beginning, before acting.

Maria Yraceburu

Expecting an Elder to communicate and think as the general populous doe will only lead to frustration for you and the Elder.  Instead, learn to interpret Elders by taking what they have to offer and stepping into their world, trying to view life interaction from a multidimensional perspective.  This requires a different thinking process than most people are use to.

Try this simple exercise to demonstrates what I have said in an experiential way – exercise from stone 12.  With powers of great sensitivity, what is of greatest interest?

The point of this “Elder’s view” exercise is to till the soil of your imagination responsibly, to help you sense, in some small way, what things are like from an Elder’s perspective.  A good guardian can receive into imaginative reality the Elder’s communication, interpret it correctly, and then adjust various ceremonial procedures as need be.

The guardian must learn to read the thoughts of the Elder, AND THOSE AROUND THE ELDER TOO.  The guardian must observe closely so that they shall not only be prevented from misinterpretation in human arrogance, but also that they may be able to give the Elder signs of shifting energies and act accordingly in a masterful way that flows in harmony with the task at hand for the Elder.  Whoever can find the answer to the question, “How can I relay this message to my Elder without disturbing the flow of energy?” has won the game and can receive from their Elder whatever they seek to know.

When you approach an Elder in this way, the experience is surprisingly multidimensional.  Not only do you become tuned into your Elder, but you becomes skilled, as well, and the ongoing knowledge you acquire from your Elder’s trust has the potential to bring you into your full potential as you later become an Elder yourself.  an often neglected aspect of the graining process is how the guardian becomes the containing safe space for the Elder’s work, helping others to achieve greater awareness by the guardian-Elder team drawing them in greater degrees of sensitivity, patience and energetic choreography.  This apprenticeship is of the greatest nature.

Often, we speak of ya-odishiyo -from where we look out – a type of telepathy or imagery projection communication, and it’s importance in your work with an Elder.  Ya-odishiyo is standing inside your Elder’s psyche, putting yourself at their center, where they are unique, individual, and understanding them from that perspective.  This is possible only when you want to understand what your Elder is GENUINELY communicating.  To get inside your Elder’s thoughts, to understand from their point of view, you must continually watch, look, listen and feel, since an Elder communicates what is going on through body language, looks, sign symbology, and lastly words.  Ya-odishiyo is not a romantic projection of human thoughts and feelings; it takes into account the whole communication by reading what the major centers of communication are saying.

Your alignment with your Elder will mature into real and compassionate understanding when you learn to blend intuition with multidimensional techniques of earth in a serious grasp of ya-odishiyo and impeccable integrity

The Weight of Women’s Worth

Vivacious Venus

I am wading into an extremely vulnerable subject here. This is a core wounding for most females, and my work is women’s empowerment. I am heart broken about how most Western women relate to their bodies and sense of self worth. I do not mean to disregard men’s issues with appearance and body image, they have also been reared in a culture based on separation and disconnection, but I have witnessed that there is a different field men are allowed with issues of body shape and value.

A series of events happened over the last while and a cascade of experiences and perceptions flowed into my mind about my life in this body and the other women I have known well enough to speak frankly about their relationship with their bodies.

Our bodies are our Temples, our homes, the way we bounce around in this pinball machine of life. They are how we play, experience, create, give life, make love to ourselves, others and the world at large.

If there is a perceived “difference” in your external form from the culturally dictated norms, it may cause a host of issues with connection, value and belonging. If one is albino in Africa, or in a wheel chair, or slim in a culture that values the Rubinesque women, it could cause a deep sense of separation and isolation. Our ego desperately wants to be valued, safe, and successful in order to feel good enough. Western culture at this time suggest success should look fame, beauty, wealth, and status. So if our body, our Temple, is different than the color, hair type, or proportions deemed superior and success worthy at this time , where does one find a healthy sense of self? If this year/decade/century women are to be rail thin, where do the Rubinesque women fit? Venus of Willendorf lives, even if she would be called obese at this time.

These same “differences” can also be the distinction that marks you as unique; as an artist, a visionary, the Medicine person in the tribe. But in contemporary Western Culture difference takes a lot of chutzpah and power to carry. Barbara Streisand made the nose her trademark. Lauren Hutton rocks the gap in her front teeth. Queen Latifah carries herself as the royalty that she is.

My relationship to my own body has been a long journey. Three years ago, when I was thirty-nine, I started a series of self-portraits on the land called “Earthen Body.” There were a variety of reasons I did this, but one of them was to witness my value, worth and beauty to myself, by myself. Not what the culture thought, not what men thought, not what my family thought, but how did I feel about this body I have inhabited for so many decades? I was also attempting to find a sense of connection to myself as I age.

What ended up happening over the year and half period with the Earthen Body process was a revolution within myself. I FOUND MYSELF, through the land; through adventure; through creativity; through surrender; through primal wildness; through dancing with The Spirits in ancient ways. I found my way back home. And it was in my body, nude, alone on the land with the Earth and Ancestral Spirits.

I am a different woman now, and I can still get caught up in cultural expectations of value and worth. Each time I have committed to being awake and incarnating more onto the earth-plane I have gained weight. This has happened recently. My jeans do not fit. I wear yoga pants all the time {thank god they stretch}. I have been struggling with the change in my form, judging it at times, feeling less valuable. This is so odd. It’s like a bad hair day. How can the way our hair sits affect our entire psyche? The first time this happened about 5 or 6 years ago I was going to a wedding and wanted a new dress. I went into the dressing room and started trying things on. The first dress horrified me. As I looked in the mirror, I perceive myself as looking  “fat.” I am an anomaly on this issue because I have not consistency battled my bodies size and form. Now I am not saying I was always deeply connected to my body, but I didn’t wake up hating it. But when I had this experience in the department store dressing room I got a sense of how other women feel all the time.

If we are in the middle of a cultural/energetic/spiritual revolution of reclaiming the feminine, where does women’s self hatred through their bodies come in? Where does the violent disregard and over-consumption of Mother Earth’s resources become rebalanced? How do we women carry the dignity and worth of our variant cycles, rhythms and seasons?

Dance has also been a major way for me to embody myself. I came to it in my mid- thirties and like the Earthen Body photography it has completely changed my life. I am taking Haitian dance classes now and have found that a little extra junk in my trunk is a good thing. Not all cultures have disregarded curvier women; Sir Mix A Lot made a career glorifying bodacious bottoms.

I am also forty-two, and single. There are entire books focusing on how I need to be less “picky” in choosing a man because my days of being desirable are over. If my body and looks are deteriorating I am “used goods” and no longer the choice of the litter. This is outrageous, and many women subliminally operate on this notion. Remember the statistic that it was more likely for a woman over thirty-five to be involved in an airplane crash than find a mate….wacky. What happened to our position being elevated by age? We mature women are in a different cycle than the maiden, but we can also be wiser, calmer, and for many of us more relaxed and juicier. If our greatest value still lies in our looks, what do we do when that power position is weakened?

Most women spend a huge amount of time judging their bodies. Worrying about their thighs/tummy/ass being too “fat.” This shuts women DOWN. This is a place of constantly not being enough, of being afraid to have the lights on when you make love, of fearing the foods you want to eat, of judging other women and how their temples are transforming.  A friend was talking to a group of men and women and it came to light that most of the men did not know what their butts looked like. They have not inspected, judged, and cataloged every square inch of their flesh for its {perceived} positive or negative characteristic. Think of all the time, energy and resources women are using to try to fix themselves when they could be exploring their inner worlds, having more rest from raising the children, or creating the next revolution.

I am part of this revolution, and my part is to find the places within me that shine and expand through my own challenges and gifts. I am also unpacking the messages I digested as a child about my value through money, a mate, a career with status, and a skinny “pretty” body {and persona I will add-be the nice accommodating girl…not the fierce and powerful WOMAN we fear. We ALL have The Dark Mother in us somewhere}. I write and dream and dance and laugh as I age, much more able to unplug from my younger woman’s judgments, and I still have days when I think I should have a washboard stomach. I am not willing to become a slave to these external ideas of worth, and I still have not made it out the other side of consistently holding my value beyond my package.

This week I am attending a women and girls rights of passage retreat on the land. I am thinking about what we teach our children, overtly and subliminally. How do we carry ourselves, how do we open their worlds to their beauty and brilliance for simply existing? How do we nurture their sense of worth and help them find the unique light within themselves? How do we honor the earthened beings that we are, and come back in to alignment with her beauty and wisdom? I mean this for our boys too. What is our responsibility as Elders and Wise Ones to create a saner and more sustainable world for all of them?

I will be off-line for a week, so if I do not answer your comments to these musings immediately, have patience, I am doing my joyful work…

Thank you to another woman of great dignity, Jeanne Abella, for these words of wisdom; may we all hold this vision of walking this way together.

IMAGINE A WOMAN

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is woman.

A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.

Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.

A woman who listens to her needs and desires.

Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past’s influence on the present.

A woman who has walked through her past.

Who has healed the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.

A woman who exerts, initiates and moves on her own behalf.

Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.

A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.

Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.

A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.

Who celebrates her body’s rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.

A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.

Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.

A woman who sits in circles of women.

Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

Written by Patricia Lynne Reilly, 1995

Lisa De St. Croix’s Magical Tarot Paintings

Lisa De St. Croix is a fascinating woman. She grew up in South Africa, and has always had the heart of an artist. Her work reflects her deep mystical roots, weaving together her own spiritual journey  with ancient and archetypal imagery. Her series of Gods and Goddesses are incredible ranging from The Guadalupe to Kali to Hopi Kachinas. I am partial to her own autobiographical work of a woman’s deep transformation. The images are raw, gorgeous and completely compelling. In her 10 foot high paintings she may be a woman diving into a pool of water as her legs become a snake, or she is intertwined with her lover, their bodies merging into vibrant fall leaves. Her Kundalini Opening painting with a snake winding up through her body is breathtaking.

We first met when I became part of the Santa Fe EmbodyDance community and someone said we had both done divination decks. Her first deck is a collection of her own paintings with Deities, Elements and Animals Spirits as your guides for and insight and inspiration. I am lucky to have a copy…you can contact her if you would like your own!!! You can friend her on Facebook and see her paintings at her web site…

http://www.lisadestcroix.com/

In the last few months she has been called to a new project that weaves together all that she is. She is painting her own Tarot deck;  following sign, synchronicites and the wisdom of the Universe to create her version of the classic divination tool. Below I have included some of her own writing about this journey and some photos we took in her studio yesterday in Santa Fe with the cards she has done so far. I am so excited to have a front row seat to this magical process. Love yah sista..xoxxx

Nine of Pentacles

I am so excited to pull the Nine of Pentacles as the first card to paint in my new project: painting the Tarot Deck. It is the card about a labor of love, solitary, creative and spiritual work. This deep work will be rewarded by a good harvest – material prosperity.

Synchronicity came up when I pulled an extra card from The Goddess Tarot, created by Kris Waldherr and it was Isis. A year and a half ago I did a shamanic journey to the Upper World and there in a small temple sat Isis – she instructed me to paint the Tarot. She is here with me as a guide. On her arm sits a falcon, the falcon also appears in the Smith/ Rider/Waite deck. It is a symbol of mastery, of harnessing power to manifest.

This card indicates that there will be gain by being in harmony with nature and the elements. Trust the Universe to take care of you, follow what has heart and meaning. It is a card of self- reliance, of pleasure, sensuality and luxury.

I painted myself, grounded in nature, in a beautiful setting – the red cliffs of the Southwest, a pool of water behind me and an adobe home. I am looking at the fruits of my labor – the sunflower symbolizes my soul card “the Sun” – I live up to my fullest potential. I bring beauty and spirit through my art.

The Devil

I woke up and saw a shaft of light hitting my mothers old “Marseille Tarot”. I only use that deck to communicate with her – she died twenty four years ago. Immediately fear came up for me – as a child I had been afraid of that deck, always pulling The Devil, The Hanged Man, Death. But I felt directed to pull a card. Synchronicity again…I pulled the Devil. Oh, no I had made a contract with myself that I was going to paint whatever card I got.

The Devil – what ancient archetype does it represent? Our shadow, the bit’s of ourself we are ashamed of. By keeping these parts of ourselves in the shadow we only feed The Devil and are held down by that energy. But, if we can face our inner demon, enormous energy is released and darkness becomes light (Lucifer means bringer of light).

I realize that my fear, my shame and my guilt hold me down. But my shadow is the Buddah – sit with it and eventually I can throw off The Devil’s hold and move on……

Three of Wands

My son Noah suggested I pull a Tarot card for mother’s day as the next card to paint. I pulled the Three of Wands. I was struck once again by synchronicity; in the Book of Thoth, Aleister Crowley gives this explanation of the Three of Wands: The will has been transmitted to The Mother who conceives, prepares and gives birth to it’s manifestations. The meaning is harmonious – for this is the beginning of Spring…the sun has en kindled the Great Mother

I thought about my mother and how she is still with me all these years after her death. She is watching me on my journey. She had a Tarot reading when I was twelve that accurately predicted her divorce, her moving to another country and living by the ocean – Valencia, Spain and remarrying a foreigner and that her youngest child would be famous. That’s me. So I painted her watching my boat come in, along for the ride are my children and loved ones.

The Three of Wands means an enterprise that will end in success. It is a visionary card about manifesting our dreams beyond limitations. The figurehead boat signifies leading others, staying on course and move fearlessly into new areas. The blossoms communicate joy and the promise of fruit from our artistic endeavors.

Ace of Wands

This experience of painting the Tarot has become a gateway to realizing the connection between spirit and present moment. Never before have I felt so guided in my work, what is needed shows up. I was concerned that I was putting too much of my personal story into this deck. The Ace of Wands came to tell me that I am but a conduit for the universal archetypes to express themselves. Shortly before pulling the Ace of Wands as my next card to paint I joined a Tarot site and there was a picture of the Ace of Wands on their home page. These synchronicities that keep happening tell me I am doing my “great work” that the magical spark of life is directing me. I am gaining confidence as this project unfolds that I am a messenger of sorts. This card is here to tell you that by living your passion and being the true expression of who you are, you will succeed. It is the energy of the divine manifesting in matter through you.

The Chariot, King of Cups & Two of Swords too….

NEW Painted Body ritualistic photography series in New Mexico

I romped through the lush fields of one of my favorite locations here in Santa Fe  creating the 33rd shoot in the Painted Body ritualistic photography series. The Painted Body process brings me profound delight, a way to play with nature in a way I knew as a child. And yet the woman also plays, enchants, is seduced by the raw beauty of the moment, the sensory awareness ripened and different than the child…the luscious union between woman and land…home. The preciousness of vibrant green expanses within this arid desert climate can also not be underestimated. Blessings to the Water and Fire Spirits.

May you find and dance your own wild joy…blessings Melissa

I have included a few of the images below…see the video for more..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjfL9IQwstY

www.OracleofInitation.com

www.MelissaWeissSteele.Wordpress.com

Spiritual Perfectionism-Letting Each Other Off the Hook

“Perfectionism is the belief that life is broken.” Rachel Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom

I am a recovering perfectionist. The Rachel Remen quote above hit me like a ton of bricks when I read it years ago. Perfectionism was the subtle and insidious perspective I was basing my life story on. I was trying to be safe and good enough; making life into the pretty and manageable picture that I hoped would heal and satisfy my soul. I did not know how to listen to my internal sense of self, so perfectionism was my un-integrated psyche’s attempt at creating beauty and significance. The world can appear chaotic and uncontrollable; perfectionism is an attempt to mitigate potential suffering by trying to create an unreachable state of order. It really is a misguided attempt for security, approval, and thus love. Many of us have learned that we needed to please and achieve in order to deserve love, but as Rachel Remen says, “love is never earned. It is a grace we give one another. Anything we need to earn is only approval.”

Perfectionism can also believe a single person is responsible for getting things done right; what a lot of pressure and stress this is, and it’s not sustainable. And what is right anyway? As Byron Katie says, there is “my business,” “other’s business,” and then “Gods business.” So, we are actually only responsible for one third of the equation, but looking through the lens of perfectionism we might suggest the responsibility is creeping into the 80^th to 90^th percentile. Perfectionism is trying to manage The Universe. Good luck.

Perfectionism can also be an attempt to deny the many facets of our wholeness. It is a rejection of the power available in claiming the depths of our less civilized or controllable passion and motivations. We are actually all animalistic at our core, and when we deny this with social correctness and externalized standards, we loose our wild and free potentials.

In the classic story of releasing control and security, Inanna, the Sumerian Queen of Heaven, descended to the domain of her sister, Ereshkigal, the Goddess of Death and the Underworld. As Inanna moved through the seven gateways  into the Nether World, she released all her external adornments of earthly authority to meet the raw, transformative power of the dark; naked and vulnerable. Her initiation in this powerful land continued as she viscerally experienced death through being returned to a corpse, and hung from a hook in her sister’s chambers. When we deny each other our fullness, our depth, and our complexity, we hang each other on a hook. We draw the life-force out of each other by rejecting the fiercer aspects of our love, power, passion and creativity. Perfectionism abhors messiness and the loss of control. It does not want to acknowledge death and disempowerment as part of the equation, that’s too scary and unmanageable; it wants to control life and creation. It is time to let each other off the hook, to hold space and make containers for a balanced and sustainable way to touch those core energies; to integrate our light and our dark.

Jody Levy, a dynamic dancing bard in Seattle calls her version of Spiritual Perfectionism the “Spiritual Tyrant.” That is so accurate, this idea that we “should” be Mother Theresa, Jesus, Quan Yin, and Gandhi all rolled into one while denying our shadow aspects. I also call it the Saint Complex; we are to be kind, and wise, and patient at every turn, and if we project anger or impatience we have fallen off the spiritual wagon, and we need to get back into recovery.

Perfectionism cuts off our natural intuitive radar, it has such an agenda that it does not allow space for magic and miracles; for being taken care of in unexpected ways; and the delight of unanticipated opportunities. We know how it “should” be, so we are unable to see new potentials.

Perfectionism also has a very Yang and masculine aspect to it. It is force over allowing; determination and will over acceptance and openness. Now I am not saying that the dynamic Yang energies do not have their place, but perfectionism amplifies and uses these energies from a place of scarcity, not clarity and wholeness. And I am not speaking of “men” here; I am speaking of the focused, outward, make-it-happen motivations that are in divine opposition to the Yin’s feminine receiving and flowing. We have become a culture of Yang force attempting to “make” the world into the visions of what we desire from a limited and immature perspective. Moving into an expanded outlook we need to be able to meet what wants to emerge as well as carry those visions into material form.

The pathways I have traveled to releasing my perfectionism have been a multi-layered process. It needs to be approached in mind, body, and spirit. It is claiming your uniqueness, and learning how to source yourself from that place; it is approaching life as a never-ending series of lessons and gifts, without polarizing the “good” and the “bad”; it is forgiving that sweet little one inside of you that was really just reaching for love and acceptance; it is recalling a deep trust in your own, and The Universes rhythms, cycles, and evolution; it is reclaiming a profound sense of interconnectedness and unity with all that is.

The Japanese have a beautiful theory called Wabi Sabi. It is the philosophy of impermanence and imperfection. When a Zen master sweeps the sand garden into perfect symmetry, he will drop a single leaf onto it, allowing the beauty of irregularity and imbalance to shine through. Certain Native American weavers also leave a hole in any pieces they create, an imperfection; and the place where Spirit enters. These are soulful and deep ways to live, to be with the incompleteness and transience of this corporeal existence.

So, its time to let each other off the hook. I am calling all of us, myself included, to soul search about how we offer our work into the world and what standards we project onto our teachers, leaders and fellow spiritual travelers. If we are operating from a place of Spiritual Perfectionism, we expect that both we, and the people we “look up to” will have reached some level of elevation and near flawlessness. This ties into the message that spiritual development has a plateau-once reached its all golden. This may not be in your immediate consciousness, these assumptions are often unrecognized, but none the less, are potent beliefs systems many of us are operating from. When we go to see our cherished guides and visionaries, we have a trunk-load full of projections and expectations about what we want them to be.

Carolyn Myss has been a really important teacher for me. When Anatomy of the Spirit came out in the mid 90’s it changed my life. I saw her speak many times, and I still have great respect for her wisdom and perspective. At one of her workshops I connected with her soundman, and he offered to introduce me to her. I declined because I intuitively knew I still carried some projections and elevated ideas about her power and worth as compared to mine. I did not want to schmutz her with my own insecurities and search for my inner sense of value. In Carla McLaren’s Energetic Boundaries CD’s she also speaks of this unconscious draw people bring to those whose work and experiences they admire. On some level a lot of people really want a guru; they want someone to tell them how it is so they don’t have to go through the hard work themselves. And it is hard work to unpack all of our erroneous illusions about ourselves.

In Bill Plotkins brilliant new treatise, Nature and the Human Soul; Cultivating Wholeness in a Fragmented World, he speaks to the arrested development of our modern world. He calls it the “patho-adolescent” society where the urges and weaknesses of a single stage of development have become the overriding norm. We are operating at a limited capacity in our contemporary culture because most of our leaders have not actually moved into a more mature sense of self and their place in the world. Plotkin’s eight-stage “wheel of life” offers the guide posts and pathways to stepping into a grounded sense of elderhood and responsibility.

Bringing this back to perfectionism, we have so few examples of mature and developed  humans that the few who have reached that place can receive strong reactions to their presence and power. Plotkin warns of some of the pitfalls of the “Artisan in the Wild Orchard”

“Another danger for Artisans is the archetypal projection…this minefield is even more hazardous in an egocentric {adolescent} society. Due to the relative scarcity of genuine adults and elders, there are few people embodying the archetype of those {mature}stages. Consequently, the initiated adults and elders end up holding those archetypal energies for many more people than in a soulcentric society. Many of {the earlier developmental stages} will have a profound reaction to the energies you embody…Some will greatly admire you. Others will scorn and ridicule you because of their fear of those same energies within their own psyche or the envy of your ability to embody them, or both. Some of the people will become furious or disillusioned when you exhibit ordinary human frailties such as anger, doubt, moodiness, carelessness, favoritism, or indecision. ..And you will. In our patho-adolescent society, there is a tendency to want to sabotage or exalt anyone who’s crossed beyond the adolescent life and reality. This is one of the means by which an egocentric society keeps itself stuck-by undermining those who manage to mature.” {I liberally edited this from Plotkin’s Nature and the Human Soul; Cultivating Wholeness in a Fragmented World, pages 376-377}

So, I am asking all of us to know those places where we feel insecure and undeveloped, and to neither put our other messengers on a pedestal, nor tear them down for their humanness. It can be intimidating to go out into the world with your heart and soul on your sleeve through offering your divine work. It takes a lot of courage to be transparent and vulnerable saying, “yes, I too have struggled, and have my issues, and I also carry a brilliance and power that WILL be a piece of shifting us all into the new paradigm. And we need your piece of unique brilliance as well.” Can we please hold each other in love and tenderness as we each step into a place where there is enough room for all of us to shine, and perfection is seen in wholeness; light and dark; wisdom and frailty. It is all beautiful. Life is not broken; we are constantly shape-shifting and morphing as we emerge into the new reality of cooperation, trust, and enough.

From my blog: www.MelissaWeissSteele.Wordpress.com & www.Weiss-Steele.com

Sacred Adornment-The Altar-ing of Self

In my Painted Body photography series for The Oracle of Initiation deck, sacred adornment is a central part of the process.  The talismanic jewels and natural objects I decorate myself with are as altar-ing as the painting itself. The feathers, scarves, crystals & bones all carry an energy and power that radiates beyond their physical existence. In welcoming them into a ceremonial process, they reveal their true essence, offering a glimpse into the inner-glow that everything possesses but we rarely notice. We see that things we perceived as lifeless are actually filled with a sparkling grace.

In Norse mythology, Freya, the Goddess of beauty and love {Scandinavians version of Aphrodite & Oshun} wears a gleaming golden necklace named Brisingamen. It is said to be the most beautiful piece of jewelry in the world. To receive this treasure she spends a night of “love” with each of the four dwarves who crafted the necklace. One of the interpretations of the dwarves is as the four directions of Earth, Air, Fire and Water. I also view them as the richness available within the underworld; the darker inner-places where complexity and contradiction nurture great creativity and visions. Freya returned to her primal elemental connections to claim her true radiance.  I descend into tunnels and caves to see the glow of my own amber abundance.

I too decorate the temple of my body during the photographic process. I become naked & vulnerable, as well as bejeweled & majestic. This is the paradox of the work- getting muddy and becoming a Queen. Offering ones self to the dwarves for the most beautiful necklace in the world. What shadows in your life could be the contrast illuminating your most glorious gifts?