The Weight of Women’s Worth

Vivacious Venus

I am wading into an extremely vulnerable subject here. This is a core wounding for most females, and my work is women’s empowerment. I am heart broken about how most Western women relate to their bodies and sense of self worth. I do not mean to disregard men’s issues with appearance and body image, they have also been reared in a culture based on separation and disconnection, but I have witnessed that there is a different field men are allowed with issues of body shape and value.

A series of events happened over the last while and a cascade of experiences and perceptions flowed into my mind about my life in this body and the other women I have known well enough to speak frankly about their relationship with their bodies.

Our bodies are our Temples, our homes, the way we bounce around in this pinball machine of life. They are how we play, experience, create, give life, make love to ourselves, others and the world at large.

If there is a perceived “difference” in your external form from the culturally dictated norms, it may cause a host of issues with connection, value and belonging. If one is albino in Africa, or in a wheel chair, or slim in a culture that values the Rubinesque women, it could cause a deep sense of separation and isolation. Our ego desperately wants to be valued, safe, and successful in order to feel good enough. Western culture at this time suggest success should look fame, beauty, wealth, and status. So if our body, our Temple, is different than the color, hair type, or proportions deemed superior and success worthy at this time , where does one find a healthy sense of self? If this year/decade/century women are to be rail thin, where do the Rubinesque women fit? Venus of Willendorf lives, even if she would be called obese at this time.

These same “differences” can also be the distinction that marks you as unique; as an artist, a visionary, the Medicine person in the tribe. But in contemporary Western Culture difference takes a lot of chutzpah and power to carry. Barbara Streisand made the nose her trademark. Lauren Hutton rocks the gap in her front teeth. Queen Latifah carries herself as the royalty that she is.

My relationship to my own body has been a long journey. Three years ago, when I was thirty-nine, I started a series of self-portraits on the land called “Earthen Body.” There were a variety of reasons I did this, but one of them was to witness my value, worth and beauty to myself, by myself. Not what the culture thought, not what men thought, not what my family thought, but how did I feel about this body I have inhabited for so many decades? I was also attempting to find a sense of connection to myself as I age.

What ended up happening over the year and half period with the Earthen Body process was a revolution within myself. I FOUND MYSELF, through the land; through adventure; through creativity; through surrender; through primal wildness; through dancing with The Spirits in ancient ways. I found my way back home. And it was in my body, nude, alone on the land with the Earth and Ancestral Spirits.

I am a different woman now, and I can still get caught up in cultural expectations of value and worth. Each time I have committed to being awake and incarnating more onto the earth-plane I have gained weight. This has happened recently. My jeans do not fit. I wear yoga pants all the time {thank god they stretch}. I have been struggling with the change in my form, judging it at times, feeling less valuable. This is so odd. It’s like a bad hair day. How can the way our hair sits affect our entire psyche? The first time this happened about 5 or 6 years ago I was going to a wedding and wanted a new dress. I went into the dressing room and started trying things on. The first dress horrified me. As I looked in the mirror, I perceive myself as looking  “fat.” I am an anomaly on this issue because I have not consistency battled my bodies size and form. Now I am not saying I was always deeply connected to my body, but I didn’t wake up hating it. But when I had this experience in the department store dressing room I got a sense of how other women feel all the time.

If we are in the middle of a cultural/energetic/spiritual revolution of reclaiming the feminine, where does women’s self hatred through their bodies come in? Where does the violent disregard and over-consumption of Mother Earth’s resources become rebalanced? How do we women carry the dignity and worth of our variant cycles, rhythms and seasons?

Dance has also been a major way for me to embody myself. I came to it in my mid- thirties and like the Earthen Body photography it has completely changed my life. I am taking Haitian dance classes now and have found that a little extra junk in my trunk is a good thing. Not all cultures have disregarded curvier women; Sir Mix A Lot made a career glorifying bodacious bottoms.

I am also forty-two, and single. There are entire books focusing on how I need to be less “picky” in choosing a man because my days of being desirable are over. If my body and looks are deteriorating I am “used goods” and no longer the choice of the litter. This is outrageous, and many women subliminally operate on this notion. Remember the statistic that it was more likely for a woman over thirty-five to be involved in an airplane crash than find a mate….wacky. What happened to our position being elevated by age? We mature women are in a different cycle than the maiden, but we can also be wiser, calmer, and for many of us more relaxed and juicier. If our greatest value still lies in our looks, what do we do when that power position is weakened?

Most women spend a huge amount of time judging their bodies. Worrying about their thighs/tummy/ass being too “fat.” This shuts women DOWN. This is a place of constantly not being enough, of being afraid to have the lights on when you make love, of fearing the foods you want to eat, of judging other women and how their temples are transforming.  A friend was talking to a group of men and women and it came to light that most of the men did not know what their butts looked like. They have not inspected, judged, and cataloged every square inch of their flesh for its {perceived} positive or negative characteristic. Think of all the time, energy and resources women are using to try to fix themselves when they could be exploring their inner worlds, having more rest from raising the children, or creating the next revolution.

I am part of this revolution, and my part is to find the places within me that shine and expand through my own challenges and gifts. I am also unpacking the messages I digested as a child about my value through money, a mate, a career with status, and a skinny “pretty” body {and persona I will add-be the nice accommodating girl…not the fierce and powerful WOMAN we fear. We ALL have The Dark Mother in us somewhere}. I write and dream and dance and laugh as I age, much more able to unplug from my younger woman’s judgments, and I still have days when I think I should have a washboard stomach. I am not willing to become a slave to these external ideas of worth, and I still have not made it out the other side of consistently holding my value beyond my package.

This week I am attending a women and girls rights of passage retreat on the land. I am thinking about what we teach our children, overtly and subliminally. How do we carry ourselves, how do we open their worlds to their beauty and brilliance for simply existing? How do we nurture their sense of worth and help them find the unique light within themselves? How do we honor the earthened beings that we are, and come back in to alignment with her beauty and wisdom? I mean this for our boys too. What is our responsibility as Elders and Wise Ones to create a saner and more sustainable world for all of them?

I will be off-line for a week, so if I do not answer your comments to these musings immediately, have patience, I am doing my joyful work…

Thank you to another woman of great dignity, Jeanne Abella, for these words of wisdom; may we all hold this vision of walking this way together.

IMAGINE A WOMAN

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is woman.

A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.

Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.

A woman who listens to her needs and desires.

Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past’s influence on the present.

A woman who has walked through her past.

Who has healed the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.

A woman who exerts, initiates and moves on her own behalf.

Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.

A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.

Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.

A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.

Who celebrates her body’s rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.

A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.

Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.

A woman who sits in circles of women.

Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

Written by Patricia Lynne Reilly, 1995

Lisa De St. Croix’s Magical Tarot Paintings

Lisa De St. Croix is a fascinating woman. She grew up in South Africa, and has always had the heart of an artist. Her work reflects her deep mystical roots, weaving together her own spiritual journey  with ancient and archetypal imagery. Her series of Gods and Goddesses are incredible ranging from The Guadalupe to Kali to Hopi Kachinas. I am partial to her own autobiographical work of a woman’s deep transformation. The images are raw, gorgeous and completely compelling. In her 10 foot high paintings she may be a woman diving into a pool of water as her legs become a snake, or she is intertwined with her lover, their bodies merging into vibrant fall leaves. Her Kundalini Opening painting with a snake winding up through her body is breathtaking.

We first met when I became part of the Santa Fe EmbodyDance community and someone said we had both done divination decks. Her first deck is a collection of her own paintings with Deities, Elements and Animals Spirits as your guides for and insight and inspiration. I am lucky to have a copy…you can contact her if you would like your own!!! You can friend her on Facebook and see her paintings at her web site…

http://www.lisadestcroix.com/

In the last few months she has been called to a new project that weaves together all that she is. She is painting her own Tarot deck;  following sign, synchronicites and the wisdom of the Universe to create her version of the classic divination tool. Below I have included some of her own writing about this journey and some photos we took in her studio yesterday in Santa Fe with the cards she has done so far. I am so excited to have a front row seat to this magical process. Love yah sista..xoxxx

Nine of Pentacles

I am so excited to pull the Nine of Pentacles as the first card to paint in my new project: painting the Tarot Deck. It is the card about a labor of love, solitary, creative and spiritual work. This deep work will be rewarded by a good harvest – material prosperity.

Synchronicity came up when I pulled an extra card from The Goddess Tarot, created by Kris Waldherr and it was Isis. A year and a half ago I did a shamanic journey to the Upper World and there in a small temple sat Isis – she instructed me to paint the Tarot. She is here with me as a guide. On her arm sits a falcon, the falcon also appears in the Smith/ Rider/Waite deck. It is a symbol of mastery, of harnessing power to manifest.

This card indicates that there will be gain by being in harmony with nature and the elements. Trust the Universe to take care of you, follow what has heart and meaning. It is a card of self- reliance, of pleasure, sensuality and luxury.

I painted myself, grounded in nature, in a beautiful setting – the red cliffs of the Southwest, a pool of water behind me and an adobe home. I am looking at the fruits of my labor – the sunflower symbolizes my soul card “the Sun” – I live up to my fullest potential. I bring beauty and spirit through my art.

The Devil

I woke up and saw a shaft of light hitting my mothers old “Marseille Tarot”. I only use that deck to communicate with her – she died twenty four years ago. Immediately fear came up for me – as a child I had been afraid of that deck, always pulling The Devil, The Hanged Man, Death. But I felt directed to pull a card. Synchronicity again…I pulled the Devil. Oh, no I had made a contract with myself that I was going to paint whatever card I got.

The Devil – what ancient archetype does it represent? Our shadow, the bit’s of ourself we are ashamed of. By keeping these parts of ourselves in the shadow we only feed The Devil and are held down by that energy. But, if we can face our inner demon, enormous energy is released and darkness becomes light (Lucifer means bringer of light).

I realize that my fear, my shame and my guilt hold me down. But my shadow is the Buddah – sit with it and eventually I can throw off The Devil’s hold and move on……

Three of Wands

My son Noah suggested I pull a Tarot card for mother’s day as the next card to paint. I pulled the Three of Wands. I was struck once again by synchronicity; in the Book of Thoth, Aleister Crowley gives this explanation of the Three of Wands: The will has been transmitted to The Mother who conceives, prepares and gives birth to it’s manifestations. The meaning is harmonious – for this is the beginning of Spring…the sun has en kindled the Great Mother

I thought about my mother and how she is still with me all these years after her death. She is watching me on my journey. She had a Tarot reading when I was twelve that accurately predicted her divorce, her moving to another country and living by the ocean – Valencia, Spain and remarrying a foreigner and that her youngest child would be famous. That’s me. So I painted her watching my boat come in, along for the ride are my children and loved ones.

The Three of Wands means an enterprise that will end in success. It is a visionary card about manifesting our dreams beyond limitations. The figurehead boat signifies leading others, staying on course and move fearlessly into new areas. The blossoms communicate joy and the promise of fruit from our artistic endeavors.

Ace of Wands

This experience of painting the Tarot has become a gateway to realizing the connection between spirit and present moment. Never before have I felt so guided in my work, what is needed shows up. I was concerned that I was putting too much of my personal story into this deck. The Ace of Wands came to tell me that I am but a conduit for the universal archetypes to express themselves. Shortly before pulling the Ace of Wands as my next card to paint I joined a Tarot site and there was a picture of the Ace of Wands on their home page. These synchronicities that keep happening tell me I am doing my “great work” that the magical spark of life is directing me. I am gaining confidence as this project unfolds that I am a messenger of sorts. This card is here to tell you that by living your passion and being the true expression of who you are, you will succeed. It is the energy of the divine manifesting in matter through you.

The Chariot, King of Cups & Two of Swords too….

NEW Painted Body ritualistic photography series in New Mexico

I romped through the lush fields of one of my favorite locations here in Santa Fe  creating the 33rd shoot in the Painted Body ritualistic photography series. The Painted Body process brings me profound delight, a way to play with nature in a way I knew as a child. And yet the woman also plays, enchants, is seduced by the raw beauty of the moment, the sensory awareness ripened and different than the child…the luscious union between woman and land…home. The preciousness of vibrant green expanses within this arid desert climate can also not be underestimated. Blessings to the Water and Fire Spirits.

May you find and dance your own wild joy…blessings Melissa

I have included a few of the images below…see the video for more..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjfL9IQwstY

www.OracleofInitation.com

www.MelissaWeissSteele.Wordpress.com

Cascadia Summer 2010…The Eclipses and MORE wisdom on Awakening

Goofball cousins

I took a hiatus while visiting the lands of my birth, the lush Pacific Northwest. I have felt more internal, more contemplative; less focused on producing and professing. I am riding the waves between these two eclipses, the Full Moon lunar eclipse on June 26th and the New Moon solar eclipse on July 11th. This is not as intense as last years trio of eclipses around this time, but I still find myself vacillating between a deep calm and some old emotional apparitions appearing. I have been really inspired by a lot of other people’s  visions about these times, and will share more of those below.

Thanks to the original manifesters of these insights…A heads up, the last article,  “Healing the Separation Within-The Sophia series” is rough. It hits a core issue that we have all embodied during this 4th world of Soul Sickness. We ARE transforming this…have faith, and love and compassion for ourselves and each other around this.

I will also decorate these posts with pictures of my fabulously goofy family from my visit to Seattle last week….life is good….remember the Joy in these turbulent times..we all need more levity to make it through this…in theory we are heading into better times…and we are in the crucible of the hourglass….love and light to all my Kin in Seattle…

rainbow ring around the sun with geometry bisections

Releasing Ancestral Fear

{note from me-this is a huge part of what I have been working on with clients…clearing out the voices and energies of the fractured cultural and familial lineages so we can hear our OWN knowing and visions..co-creating with the Universe from that place}

“I’ve said just about everything I have to say about this eclipse, but I don’t think I’ve mentioned anytime lately one thing in particular about eclipses in general. Do what you want the day of an eclipse. Focus on what is the most meaningful to you. We often wonder how to change our lives, how to make real adjustments and how to get our desires to manifest. Using astrology as a model, one way is to work with eclipses, which are one of the most fundamental elements of evolution. They are psychic and physical magnifiers.

Therefore, focus on what you want the day of an eclipse. Do what you love best; be with, or be in contact with, the people you love the most. This factor of eclipses is so dependable it’s a wonder there aren’t books and articles written about it, but I’ve never seen one. For most of the world this eclipse happens on a weekend, when most of us have a little more flexibility with our time. Even if you have to work, make sure you invest some of your time and thought into what you love.

One last thing. A South Node eclipse of the Moon in Capricorn has the feeling of the past losing its grip. It’s as if a dimensional portal opens and old emotions can drain out, allowing in a new spectrum of feelings. I dare say we drag around plenty of accumulated anxiety from our ancestors. We’re so accustomed to doing this that we barely recognize what’s going on; we totally take it for granted. You don’t need the fears of your parents and your grandparents, nor of the people who came before them.

The combination of Pluto and the eclipse in Capricorn looks like an opportunity to release ancestral guilt, control and a sense of burden in relationships. Our parents, grandparents and their predecessors had ideas about relationships that they passed onto us — but we need our own basis for relationships. You’re entitled to live your life free of what encumbered them, and you can. One simple formula for exchange to consider is that here in our world of opposites, compersion is the opposite of guilt. It seems to take time, but really it’s a fairly simple choice.

Eric Francis June 30^th 2010

http://planetwaves.net/

pop art for my parents..I was inspired to create this from the original R&L's on Yesler in Seattle...get your white bread with those ribs and beans

NEW MOON Sunday – 11 July 2010  – A DAY TO MEDITATE AND MANIFEST When a Total Solar Eclipse occurs on a NEW Moon a very special energy of transformation occurs. On July 11 this will take place. Take time for this day, and utilize its extraordinary potentials for the positive. Keep your energy intact, and do not allow emotions to fray. Solar Eclipse is a New Moon with an extremely tremendous impact. The Sun that gives us life and lights our path is joined briefly with the dark and mysterious qualities of the Moon. The Moon blocks the light of the Sun. In this moment of perceived darkness, spirituality and the psyche combine anew, beginning another cycle in the spiral of our personal development. Great openings and great closures can occur…great advancement or untoward downward spiral.

This Eclipse is extremely meaningful. The last time there was a solar eclipse at this same degree of Cancer was in 1991; the next one will be in 2029. Think back to the personal themes in your life during the summer of 1991 and review the progress of your personal growth over the last 19 years. All eclipses indicate change; solar eclipses signify beginnings and usually manifest as events in the outer world. At solar eclipses we: begin something completely new, make promises to ourselves, commit, announce, present ourselves, show up, make plans, select events, make decisions, rise to the challenge, make an effort, change, mature, take on greater challenges, travel at a faster pace, feel restless, feel pressured by deadlines and a buildup of emotions, experience a crisis and feel excited.

There are two kinds of solar eclipses. North nodal eclipses have a personal orientation and symbolize personal identity, ego and the physical body. South nodal eclipses are other-oriented and symbolize a spouse or significant other, relationships and new perspectives based on interaction with others. This is a south nodal eclipse, suggesting that we are being called to use previously learned skills and talents in new ways and that the opportunities to do so will come through our relationships. This solar eclipse takes place with the Sun and Moon in Cancer. The tarot card associated with the sign of Cancer is the Chariot card. It teaches us the defining quality of self thru speech; how self-talk, inner intent and outward expression must align to create our reality. Universal forces provide protection while tenacity assures victory and triumph. This represents the cyclic aspect of change and is associated with psychic receptivity. Confer with Spirit, with your Divine Self and Guidance during the Solar Eclipse of July 11th. Eclipse periods are extremely active, often associated with meaningful events and public exposure. The impact of the July 11 Eclipse will have impact lasting three years. Expect to see current themes begin to develop ambitiously on their own at the end of next April, 2011. A full understanding of the impact of this period will take until the end of 2011 to unfold. But it will be great and potent!

Judith James

MIL

The July 11 Total Solar Eclipse  is a New Moon with an extremely tremendous impact. The Sun that gives us life and lights our path is joined briefly with the dark and mysterious qualities of the Moon. The Moon blocks the light of the Sun.  In this moment of perceived darkness, spirituality and the psyche combine anew, beginning another cycle in the spiral of our personal development.  Great openings and great closures can occur…great advancement or untoward downward spiral.  It is up to YOU!  This Eclipse is extremely meaningful.  Don’t ignore it!

The last time there was a solar eclipse at this same degree of Cancer was in 1991; the next one will be in 2029. Think back to the personal themes in your life during the summer of 1991 and review the progress of your personal growth over the last 19 years. 1991 was a year of very significant transition on the Earth.

All eclipses indicate change; solar eclipses signify beginnings and usually manifest as events in the outer world. At solar eclipses we: begin something completely new, make promises to ourselves, commit, announce, present ourselves, show up, make plans, select events, make decisions, rise to the challenge, make an effort, change, mature, take on greater challenges, travel at a faster pace, feel restless, feel pressured by deadlines and a buildup of emotions, experience a crisis and feel excited.

There are two kinds of solar eclipses. North nodal eclipses have a personal orientation and symbolize personal identity, ego and the physical body. South nodal eclipses are other-oriented and symbolize a spouse or significant other, relationships and new perspectives based on interaction with others.

This is a south nodal eclipse, suggesting that we are being called to use previously learned skills and talents in new ways and that the opportunities to do so will come through our relationships.

This solar eclipse takes place with the Sun and Moon in Cancer. The tarot card associated with the sign of Cancer is Tarot Key #7-The Chariot. The Chariot teaches us the defining quality of self thru speech; how self-talk, inner intent and outward expression must align to create our reality. Universal forces provide protection while tenacity assures victory and triumph. Ruled by the Moon, it represents the cyclic aspect of change and is associated with psychic receptivity.  Confer with Spirit, with your Divine Self and Guidance during the Solar Eclipse of July 11th, and you will have an opportunity for vast change toward the positive, if you act on the energy of inner heart. To ignore this powerful date, is a sad step backward.

picollo apples are adjacent to the elder trees...

Calling All Voices: Four Questions to Reveal the Message Written in Your Soul

By Gail Larsen

We are entering a time of shocking transformation. Life as we are living it is not sustainable and many are looking for a better story. The story that is pushing to emerge cannot be for the benefit of a few who have–so far– managed to insulate themselves from the harshness and apprehension that so many live with each day. The new story must be for the good of all life. We need only to look at the devastation in the Gulf of Mexico to recognize our inextricable connectedness with the natural world and to bring home the truth of Chief Seattle’s legendary words: “We did not weave the web of life. We are only a strand in it. Whatever we do to the web we do to ourselves.”

The fourth principle of Transformational Speaking states, “You can’t figure it all out, you can’t make anything happen, and you can’t make anyone do anything. Every one of us holds a different strand of the web of life, and we each must heed our own call.” Today I am asking you to heed your own call. With much of life as we’ve known it in breakdown and chaos, it is easy to become numb, overwhelmed, and continue our old conversations about all that is not working. Yet if each of us claims the strand of the web that is ours to tend and to mend, and ask others to do the same, we can individually and collectively begin a new conversation and live our way into the new story that is calling for our greatness.

We are all here at this time for a reason that is written deep within our souls and it is time to find and live our true callings. The questions we are asking in our national and global dialogue keep us stuck in an old paradigm of right/wrong, win/lose. The issues are complex and while we flail around looking for answers, I propose new questions. Here are four to support you in claiming your purpose and activating a new story:

1. What delights you and brings you alive?

When you experience the vibration of joy in your very being, you’re on track to identifying your place of greatest contribution as well as attracting those who will join you. The poet David Whyte in his exquisite poem Sweet Darkness reminds us: “You must remember one thing. The world was made to be free in. Give up all other worlds except the one to which you belong. Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.” You can no longer play small, although I am reminded of Mother Teresa who reminded us we can do small things with great love. I call that playing big.

2.  What breaks your heart?

Rumi said, “Break my heart, oh break it again, so I can love even more again.” Or if you prefer a more contemporary philosopher, try Leonard Cohen: “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” What pain are you avoiding? We must be willing to feel our heartbreak and pain. Each time we avoid our descent into the well of grief, we lose a part of our voice. By allowing ourselves the healing of this natural process, our hearts can be broken open and our purpose revealed.

3.  What does healing look like?

The pain will push us until the vision pulls. In Proverbs we are told, “When there is no vision, the people perish.” To change the world, it is time to tell a better story. What is the inspiring new story you will tell to show us the way to a vision of what is possible?

4.  What one life-affirming action will you do beautifully and consistently, with love?

Rather than being hypnotized into a wait-and-see stupor, what will you commit to doing right now that supports the healing you envision? Singer Holly Near, in her triumphant song Planet Called Home, sings of presence in these times in a way that expands my idea of how we may be called to serve. Her inspiring words suggest your calling may come, for example, from your own hero’s journey with illness. Perhaps your way of contributing is through the courage you demonstrate to others as you live with uncertainty. Download Planet Called Home from ITunes and sing your song!

Fabulous creatures sent from the power
Souls that have come with a purpose in mind
To do one little thing that will alter the outcome
And maybe together we can do it in time.

Whatever act you choose to do consistently and beautifully, with love, bring to the forefront the question asked by the Iroquois grandmothers. Does this support life? These revered elders viewed life as the entire interconnected web, and their decisions were based on what would serve seven future generations.

Calling All Voices! Let yours be heard as you cherish the strand in the web of life that is held in trust for you.

© 2010 Gail Larsen

Reprinted from “Real Speaking Power Points” a free e-letter by Gail Larsen, author of Transformational Speaking.  To subscribe and receive occasional insights and ideas to enhance your public speaking and communications, go to http://www.realspeaking.net

my poppa telling the story of finding the baby hawks protecting their territory on their huge nest on the ground

The Space In Between or Cooking in the Pressure Cooker of (Conscious) Evolution

a message from Celia Fenn

If you are in a space like I am at the moment, you are probably sending out a spiritual SOS! What Happened? Where am I? Why am I trapped in the Pressure Cooker? Yes indeed, the pressure is on big time right now. We are in the Space Between….between the Lunar Eclipse and the coming total Solar Eclipse on the 11th of July. In this “between” space of change and shift, the pressure is on.

The Changes brought about by the lunar/solar eclipse cycles provide an opportunity for changing Light Codes and “rebooting” the Planetary “computer” so that more up to date information is provided to the Human Collective from the Cosmic Source. The Grand Cross provides an intense focus of energy and the Diamond Light intensifies this focus. Right now, it is so intense that we cannot escape the challenges to evolve and grow at a very rapid rate.

I am told by Spirit that we are entering a phase now where growth and evolution are no longer an option. We have to move forward and make choices, and those of us that are Lightworkers are the ones being pushed off the metaphorical cliff to see whether we can fly…or not! The intense waves of Light and the new Light Codes are coming in thick and fast.

So how do we feel. Speaking for myself I have an intense headache as the Pineal gland goes into overdrive (again) and my body is subjected to the combined electro-magnetic energies of the Cosmic waves as well as the intense anger and anxiety in the Collective. Ah yes, another day on Planet Earth, in the Pressure Cooker of Evolution!

I am told by Spirit too that we/I have to change. There are no options now, we have run out of time and the great leap must be made. This applies on the personal and the global level. And, right now there seem to be two options, we either acknowledge what is happening and focus and give this all we have, because this is what we incarnated for and this is what we have to do, or we can go on in a view of life where everything is ok and wonderful and will change soon, you know, its just around the corner….soon….and we can ignore what is happening and focus on our own little plot and trying to ensure that we get our personal share of wealth and happiness.

On a Global level, this no longer works, it is becoming more and more difficult to ignore the blatant evidence that our Planet is going through a huge crisis as she sheds the old and rebirths into the New. And, it is facile and immature to say that “some will die because they have chosen to”. Yes, I have heard the belief from people who call themselves spiritually mature, that we each choose our lives so that if you live in Africa, or Gaza, or the Gulf and your life is going down the toilet, well then that is just too bad, you must have chosen it that way, while we chose to have a happy and abundant life, thank you. Yes, isn’t it time we stopped finding excuses to evade our responsibility for the energetic balance of the whole planet.

Yes, the whole Planet! Not just the bit where you live, but the whole thing. It is not possible for one little bit to be “paradise” while the other bits are “hell”. It is all part of the One, and now we are being asked to wake up and look at the Planet in this way. We are all part of the Earth, and what has happened in the Gulf of Mexico is appalling beyond belief and will affect every person on the Planet in some way. I do not think this is the apocalypse as such, but I do think that it is a major wake up call and a turning point of some kind. We have to see what we are doing and we have to find another way to be.

What is it? I have no idea, any more than you, or Obama or BP ….or anyone right now. Our DNA has been activated and is running the possibilities, but so far, nothing has emerged. We are still emerging…the new is emerging…..The work has been done on the Higher Levels, we have visualized and done ceremonies and healing…now…we have to see what emerges on the material plane. And yes, we must Trust, and Trust and Trust and Pray and Work and Focus…because…This is It!

I have been doing active Ascension and Higer Dimensional work since 1995, and I can tell you that this is the Moment! I have never felt so certain that Now is the Time and that we are under such intense pressure to Make this Shift!

K-Bone the Queen with Kelp

We have all done the work on ourselves for years, now it is time to make that count with our awareness and our Passion for what we came here to do.

In my own life, I spent most of this year in a beautiful state of dream and illusion, a “preview” maybe of what life could be in another time and place, and then was brought crashing back to the “reality” that if we want to get to that time and place, all of us, then we have to start making some different choices, for all us. This playground is not for an elite group only, but for all who live on her.

And that does start with our lives. Some of the choices I have made in the last month have been very difficult and have not brought me happiness. But, they were the only choices I could have made that were in integrity with myself. Spirit agreed with my assessment and told me to hang in and stay with what I believed to be right for me. Evolution will not happen by compromising what you are for what you think you should be or what others think you should be. It is coming to bedrock honesty with yourself that will enable you to see what needs to be seen and to emerge to a new reality.

I know it has been common belief that as we shifted into the Fifth Dimension we would all become telepathic and be capable of healing and other psychic abilities. Yes, that is because such abilities are already programmed into the Human Template. They are nothing new! They are gifts and talents that were lost that are re-emerging, and we have all enjoyed going back and fetching parts of ourselves that we enjoyed in Lemuria and Egypt and Atlantis, and integrating these lifetimes. But this was nothing NEW!

What is new will still emerge…is emerging right now….. what will it be? Well, maybe it will be a Conscious Human who is aware of the connections between Heaven and Earth and Spirit and Matter. But it will be a fully grounded Human who knows that to nurture and care for the Earth on all levels is the reason for being here, and not trying to get back to Spirit as soon as possible and by any means possible. The New Human will know that to live on the Earth means to fully accept the Human Body and Humanity, and to cease trying to escape life, through drugs,alcohol, entertainment or even excessive meditation practices. Life must be lived and experienced on all levels, and it must be felt in every nerve and sinew of the body…and those feelings must be accompanied by Joy and Gratitude.

Every challenge that we face is an opportunity to grow and extend ourselves and become more. Every challenge is an opportunity to explore and express love on ever deeper and more powerful levels. What if we looked at life as a continual process of evolutionary ascension, and see ourselves at a point where we have become so powerful and complex that the challenges themselves are more intricate and complex and require every bit of our collective focus, intention and compassion, to lift us to the next level of Being that we are all striving for.

In the next three years there will be key moments when we can really lift ourselves into new levels, towards a whole new way of being. Now is one of them. Or, if we fail, then we will most likely spend the next grand cycle of 26000 years at the same level as we are now!

So, in the next ten days, you will most likely encounter this aspect of challenge to grow in some way. It will be both personal and global, and it will not be easy. The choices that must be made will often be difficult, because they must be made from total honesty and a clear vision. We are seeing ourselves as never before, through the mirror of our Planet and those around us. We see the Light and the Dark, the Pain and the Joy, and we embrace them all because they are part of our Growth and our Expansion and our Birth into the New Day that is Emerging!

And we know that those in the Angelic Realms of Spirit are waiting, and watching, and applauding our choices and our growth. They have done their work, and they continue to watch and support, it really is up to us now to make the Choices that will Make a Difference!

© 2006-8 Celia Fenn and Starchild Global http://www.starchildglobal.com – You are free to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work under the following conditions: You must give the author credit, you may not use this for commercial purposes, and you may not alter, transform or build upon this work. For any reuse or distribution, you must make clear to others the license terms of this work. Any of these conditions can be waived if you get permission from the copyright holder. Any other purpose of use must be granted permission by author.

dashing through the feary woods with Auntie

Healing the Separation Within You- The Sophia Series

Written by Lea Hamann

We gather here in order to talk about an issue that touches all humans here on this earth. It is an issue that is not particularly easy and not particularly pleasant. And therefore we want to invite you before we begin together to let your breath become soft and to sink deeper into your belly. We invite you to arrive totally here in this Now moment.

You will need all your compassion, all your tenderness, all your patience in order to be with this issue that we want to bring into this space that we share together today.

This space of awakening becomes more and more vibrant. For each day, each week, each month newly awakened humans enter here, join this consciousness of awakening. Each day there are humans who pause and begin to perceive what has always been there but has suddenly moved to the center of their awareness. And this change happens so subtly, almost casually so that many humans don’t realize yet that they truly awakened.

Only as time goes by and they begin to change, to be more loving with themselves and take another path – only then do they start to consider what actually has happened to them. They begin to ask questions and start to search, to search for themselves.

It’s an intense time here on this earth that is in the midst her own awakening, for this awakening is still fairly new, fairly childlike, fairly gentle. It still happens in the background. And although the earth shows by the continual shifts she is going through that a new era arises – it’s still relatively easy to pretend that everything will remain the same.

As soon as you begin to feel you will observe; that the earth feels different than some years ago, that the consciousness of humans feels different and that your own consciousness feels completely different. It’s no longer as it has been. You are in the midst of your awakening. Just as the earth slowly begins to awaken, the consciousness of humans also slowly begins to find a new path.

And within this awakening, within this shift it is important to become aware that you are not as connected to your soul, to your source as you were long ago. When we talk about connectedness we mean this state of oneness where you are totally merged with your soul, so that her love is able to reach you, and the two of you are one.

All humans come from this state, from this oneness. All souls come from this oneness. And as you know, this oneness is not as present today as it once was. If you perceive yourself within this moment you might feel that you are not completely one with your soul. Maybe you are not even one with yourself or with your body, your everyday life or your relationships. Maybe there are many areas within your life where you are not one.

And this discovery is not new. Many talk about the duality that you live in. Many talk about the separation between humans and their soul, between masculine and feminine energy, between up and down, light and heavy, black and white. The fact that you live in a world of duality is not new.

treasures

But today we invite you to not only recognize that you aren’t as connected to your soul as you once were, but to feel why this is so. Because it’s easy to accept this as a fact and to feel that it is this way. But an important part of healing is to begin to feel why this break, this separation occurred. Where did this separation come from? What was the cause of leaving this loving closeness with your soul and moving into a new experience, into being alone with yourself?

And we invite you to feel; why did you begin to turn away from your soul, why did you begin to turn away from yourself, your body, your creations. This turning away is what duality actually is. Turning away from what is. Turning away from what you feel, turning away from what is there for you. This is how duality and separation began.

If you like, allow yourself to sense: why did you begin to turn away? Why did you isolate yourself from this paradise, from this blossoming garden? Why did you refuse this much love and appreciation? It wasn’t your soul that expelled you, that drove you away even though that is the story you were told. It’s you who turned away. And you can only return to the oneness of your soul when you perceive the reason, the aspect within you that caused you to leave.

And we invite you today to get to the deepest core of your own avoidance. Not to judge yourself or to go into your mind, but in order to feel something that has become part of your existence for a long, long time and that has become part of your life without you realizing it. Oh, you notice every day the affect of it but you don’t realize why and how this deep separation within you is maintained.

And we invite you to stay with your feeling. It’s not a pleasant feeling. Humans have successfully avoided this, avoided feeling this quality. For it is so much easier to turn away from it. It’s so much easier to escape into duality rather than face this feeling.

Today you are invited to be stronger than ever before and to no longer turn away, to no longer run away, to no longer pretend that your soul abandoned you. Today you are invited to take responsibility once again for yourself and your experience and feel: what led me into duality?

The latest image of Duality Doll and The incredible Hulk on the land in New Mexico. I have been photographing these two for three years...see the older blog post link about the myth of their love...

https://melissaweisssteele.wordpress.com/2010/02/21/duality-doll-and-the-incredible-hulk-a-modern-day-myth-of-love/

And the answer is very simple and very obvious. We speak of your hatred of yourself. And you are invited today to perceive this self-hatred, the core of duality, the reason you left the oneness of your soul. To no longer act out this aspect of self-hatred but to feel it instead for the very first time.

We want to have a look at this phenomenon of hatred together today. Together we want to talk about what this hatred basically is and what it causes within you. And of course we invite you to find a way to meet even this hatred with love and compassion so that it may heal and a new oneness with your soul may emerge; a mature, grown-up oneness with your soul.

You are invited to let your breath flow. This issue is not an easy one, not a pleasant one. And there are many aspects within you that want to avoid this issue. They would like to fall asleep or get distracted or escape from this energy that unfolds within this space right now. We invite you to be stronger than ever before; not to run away, not to get distracted and not to fall asleep. We invite you to be here within your body, within your life, in the middle of your creation and to perceive this hatred that you can find everywhere.

This hatred is deep within you. It’s the part that you could no longer say Yes to. It’s an aspect of yourself that you couldn’t give love and compassion; the stepchild of yourself, the side of yourself that you turned away from. There, within this area hatred has emerged, rejection has occurred, fear and pain have grown.

When you remember this time of oneness – it was a time when every part of you was touched by the love of your soul. There was not a freckle, not a speck of you that was not nourished and held by this love. Everything was held within this love; everything was cradled and soothed by this love. And this love encouraged you to grow. You were like a tiny seed in the arms of your soul and this love encouraged you to grow, to expand, to discover your true essence.

And we all know what happens when a seed opens up: a new plant, a young sprout appears that shows what was really inside of it, what it really contained. And during these first tender steps where you allowed yourself to open, to grow, to unfold, you continued to breathe in the love of your soul and felt held, loved and supported, and everything within you was allowed to participate in this love, was allowed to continue being one with your soul.

And one day, one day you unfolded a little bit more. These steps we talk about are the growth and development that took place on your soul level. But of course some of you paid a visit here on earth over and over again during this time. It might be that you experienced some of these steps in human form and others perhaps on just a soul level.

And we want to invite you to remember the very first moment when you perceived more of yourself; more of your greatness, more of your power and strength, where you experienced more of yourself than ever before. A part of you enjoyed it. A part of you was very happy to be able to grow and to blossom. But another part of you was frightened; an aspect of you was scared of your own greatness. An aspect of you believed that your soul wouldn’t love you anymore if you really allowed yourself to blossom and all your greatness and power came to the surface. An aspect of you thought that it would make more sense to stay small, to stay small in the arms of your soul and then she would love you.

But your growth couldn’t be stopped. And as hard as you tried to make yourself small over and over again and to return to the love, the care of your soul – your evolution was inevitable.

And this aspect that was scared of your own greatness, where you said No to yourself became bigger and bigger. It was as if you had cast yourself into a shadow, as if you hadn’t allowed yourself to stay completely in the warmth of your soul. As if you hadn’t known that your soul would always love you no matter how much you grow, how big and strong you become.

And so you created this area that we perceive as hatred or fear or pain today. An aspect of you that wasn’t loved anymore, that wasn’t nourished anymore, that wasn’t held by your soul anymore; an aspect of you that turned away from your soul.

Allow yourself to perceive the feelings that surface now. Maybe you feel an area within your body that has turned away from your soul. Maybe you feel an area that’s not warmed by the love of your soul, that’s not vibrant, that’s not in balance. Maybe you feel this hardness, this self-hatred; this absence of love where she is needed so urgently.

And let’s continue talking about this area within yourself, within your life that wasn’t allowed to receive love; that was driven from paradise – into loneliness, suffering and self-hatred. The more you grew, the more you created and experienced, the more this area where no love is allowed grew. This shadow grew in anything you feared, anything that was unwelcome, anything you refused. And so this hatred flourished and created a deep trench within you where energy couldn’t flow as soft and harmoniously as before.

Within this area poverty emerged, loneliness, sickness and pain. All these experiences arose from the absence of the love of your own soul. And it is not your soul that turned away from you or told you that you are too great, too powerful, too strong, too independent.

Your soul is infinitely vast. Your soul is a vast ocean of divine love. And you are a drop of water within this ocean and no matter how much you expand and develop and unfold, you will never be too big for this love that you came from.

We talk about this hatred today, about this reason for duality, because the time has come for you to meet this area in a new way. You are invited to no longer pretend that this self-hatred is normal, that this shadow aspect within yourself is natural. You are invited to feel that you created this dark side yourself. You kept an aspect of yourself apart from the love of your soul; you judged and condemned it. You created this painful part that has been with you your entire life.

And I, Sophia, enter here with an invitation from your soul. Your soul invites you to return to her love. To return to the safety and security and warmth that is here for you. To return doesn’t mean to go back to the past and deny your own experiences and your own development. To return means to allow your soul to love this aspect of you that you haven’t allowed her to love for such a long time. Can you begin to let the love of your soul flow into this deep trench of hatred, pain and fear and observe – observe what happens when the love that has wanted to reach you for eons may finally approach where she is needed most?

Some areas within you always got a little bit of love; they were allowed to feel a little bit of safety and security. These are the joyful, happy, bright aspects within your life and they too may receive more love as time goes by. But today we invite you to look where this love is needed so urgently. This self-hatred, this No to yourself has left behind a deep wound, a deep trench within you – a trench that affects everything that you are.

This is the area within your body that isn’t allowed to come into balance because there is so much hatred and so much rejection. This is the area within your everyday life that lies in the shadow like a stepchild; where no joy, no light and no love may touch, where you punish and reject yourself. And this is the area where you want to bring New onto this earth yet you reject a part of yourself. Maybe you reject your wisdom, deep within. Maybe you reject your talents, deep within. And maybe you reject your abundance that so dearly wants to come into your life.

And so there are deep trenches in the landscape of your life that are dried out, withered, where eternal darkness and suffering reign. And humans have learned to avoid these areas, to not look at them, to not feel them. For if by chance you catch a glimpse of these areas that you reject so much you will feel your own pain. You will feel the longing of yourself, of this aspect that wants to be loved again, that wants to feel it is also a child of your soul.

Humans have learned to no longer feel their own darkness. They walk cautiously around these areas. They take a different route to make sure they won’t meet this darkness.

Today we invite you to face these aspects within you that you have hated for so long, that you have rejected for so long, that you have fought for so long and abandoned – we invite you to meet these aspects within you. For who else can heal these deep wounds? Who else can revive these barren areas? Who else can soothe this pain? Does it make sense to keep ignoring these aspects? Does it make sense to keep seeking outside of you for the cause of this pain?

No one can inflict as deep a wound within you as you can yourself. No one can keep you as far away from the love of your soul as you can yourself. It is your pain, your hatred, your rejection. And not until you are ready to meet this area lovingly will you be able to feel it. And as soon as you begin to feel this area, to feel the neediness within you; the emptiness, the hunger, the loneliness, you cue your soul, your deepest inner balance, that love is needed there. When you feel your own darkness again, you cue your soul. You tell your soul that her love is needed there again and that this love is welcome within you.

No change can happen if you don’t feel these deep trenches. And this is not pleasant because in the very moment you open yourself to feel, something will find its way back to your attention – something that you had avoided, rejected and suppressed successfully for such a long time. And with your awakening, the love of your soul wants to return to your attention too and touch everything that you are.

But where you reject yourself, where you don’t want to feel yourself, where you don’t want to perceive yourself, it’s impossible for your love to get through. It’s like a closed door, like a barrier that keeps the love of your soul away from a part of yourself.

And today you are invited to consider if this barrier is still of any use in your life. Do you want to continue rejecting these aspects that have been in the shadow for so long – or do you want to begin feeling them, begin meeting them lovingly for the very first time? No longer meeting them as an enemy, as someone who hates themselves, but letting the love of your soul pour into these areas where you haven’t been in such a long time.

This healing that wants to happen and that is an important part of your awakening can only take place when you start feeling again and when you are present. If you don’t feel these rejected aspects they cannot return to the love of your soul. If you continue to avoid and reject these aspects there is no way for this healing to take place.

Feeling these rejected aspects requires all your courage, requires all your power and strength. There will be times when there isn’t space for anything else in your life than being with yourself and feeling these rejected aspects. And there will be times when your body requires all its energy to feel these rejected aspects again, when you are busy all day and night with this healing that wants to happen.

There will also be times, many times when you question why you have let these aspects surface – because involuntarily your thoughts will whisper to you that it’s much easier to continue ignoring these aspects. And when you look around at other people who ignore their aspects, who push parts of themselves into the shadow you will again question why you chose this path; if it makes sense to let so much darkness, so much pain surface.

Divine help and surrender is always good in these deeply entrenched issues that we have all grappled with for millennia..

But breath by breath, as time goes by and these trenches become soft and vibrant again, when the light of your soul may radiate again, when your power, safety and security may dwell again, when the flowers of your garden may blossom again, you will notice that this healing lets everything heal within you, not only the small portion that you like. Everything within you is allowed to heal, everything is allowed to be.

And to allow this healing is the main reason you are here. All the other wonderful things, developing your talents, the New that you bring onto this earth, are only secondary. That doesn’t mean that it’s not important that you enjoy your life. It simply means that your soul wants to heal this separation within you that has now become possible. Your soul wants to touch these neglected areas within you again with her love and her warmth and she invites you to allow yourself this experience.

Even if sometimes you doubt yourself and wonder why so much old hatred is surfacing and why you are so angry at times, and why you don’t have patience for things that were easy in the past. Why you are sometimes confronted with unpleasant feelings that are more challenging than ever before.

It’s not about what you can see on the surface. It’s about feeling this healing that takes place deep within. And what requires more courage: to continue ignoring and hiding away your needy aspects that are starving for the love of your soul? Or does it require more courage to face them, this barren land, this desert within you? To perceive them, to feel them, to hear this cry in your desert and welcome these aspects of yourself and allow: you are worthy of being loved also. Even the most difficult aspect of you is worthy of being held in the arms of your soul, of no longer suffering, of no longer being alone. And so again we ask you: which path requires more courage? On which path do you superficially look good – and on which path might you look a bit messy at times?

There will be people that laugh at you and say: why do you go to the trouble of dealing with these unpleasant feelings? Do it as I do. Push these unpleasant things down and lock them away. And the temptation to stray from the path of your soul and to doubt this deepest love within you will be there over and over again. For you live in a world that hates and rejects itself, where human beings hide and deny aspects they don’t like.  They lie to themselves, they lie to their soul. They tell their soul and they tell themselves that there isn’t anything hidden anywhere.

Only when you begin to awaken will you hear this pitiful voice from your dark side that calls out to you from deep within and begs: let me come home. Let me return home; return into this infinite love that doesn’t judge me, that doesn’t hide me away, that doesn’t reject me any longer.

A new beauty will arise from this love. Not only a beauty in your expression but also a beauty in your body – for self-hatred and ugliness are closely linked together. Your appearance and the love of your soul that wants to touch every part of you again are also closely linked.

And so we invite you to say an even deeper Yes to this path of your soul, to trust yourself even deeper yet and allow this healing that wants to happen.

Your soul takes care of you while this healing takes place. She knows that you need all your strength to face this darkness and to lead it back home lovingly. Your soul has already made preparations for this life. She has already laid path; a path of abundance, a path of love to support you.

Do you know why you are truly here and why this healing truly wants to take place in this lifetime? You have had many lives where things were easy, you enjoyed great fortune and achieved a lot externally. Maybe it was that easy because you left a part of you behind that seemed to be inappropriate and stood in the way. And you told this aspect: I will let you come home later. I don’t have time right now. I have to create something New, something great, something important. You aren’t my main concern right now. I will call for you later when everything is done.

But in every lifetime that followed you again had something New to be done, something more important than yourself; a relationship, an invention, a book you wanted to write, a movement that you wanted to lead or support.

And you always fell by the wayside. And that’s exactly why this lifetime feels so different. For in this lifetime you come first and everything that you postponed for eons now knocks at your door reminding you of the promise that you made long, long ago.

You are invited to honor your promise not only here and now but each day anew. And the fruits that ripen out of this promise will have a new sweetness and the creations that arise from this love will have a deeper wisdom and grace. You will soon discover how rewarding it is to walk this new path.

And so today we bring you our energy and our invitation to perceive a part of yourself that you haven’t felt for a very long time. And we invite you to be courageous even when it is unpleasant and to continue walking this path of your soul as she lovingly supports you and every part that belongs to you.

let the joy of our true nature bring us out the other side of all of this...

Translated into English by Silvia Striebeck

Edited by Eva Smarda Carney

© 2008, Lea Hamann, Königstein im Taunus

Please distribute this text freely on a non-commercial basis. Please include the information in its entirety, including this footnote.

About Sophia:

Sophia is a feminine energy supporting the awakening and evolution of humanity with her understanding and wisdom. Her messages are simple and profound. Lea Hamann has been working for some time in her personal and professional life with Sophia’s energy. In 2007 Lea started to channel Sophia publicly. Sophia has accompanied us since then in monthly channels called the Sophia-Series. She assists us in rediscovering the feminine energy of our soul.

Feminine energy doesn’t necessarily mean being female. Both men and women have a feminine part of their soul. This feminine principle helps us to receive abundance, to develop our creations and to live our life in deep trust. In today’s world most humans have a tendency to be imbalanced as they rely much more on their masculine energy. Sophia has emphasized many times how important it is to be connected to the feminine energy in order to enjoy a loving and balanced life.

The monthly channels of the Sophia-Series are available free of charge on the website www.eelea.de You are invited to let yourself be touched by Sophia’s love.