Energetic Sparkles Surging Down My Chakra’s-How I knew I was called to Create The Oracle of Initiation

On April 6^th, 2006 I knew I was called to create my own divination deck. As I sat on my couch in Wedgewood, one of the most intense energetic experiences I have ever felt cascaded down through my Chakras*.

So, backing up… at the end of August 2005 I had a major concussion hip-hop roller skating. That initiation opened a flow of creative confidence that changed my trajectory. Living in Seattle at that time, I had been focusing on a Shamanic Healing and Divining practice. During a rare period of down-time after the concussion the Horse Spirits I had been apprenticing to flew through me, and in 2 days time I made 10 incredible horse collages. The power of those horse collages gave me the confidence to pursue my dormant dreams of a visual art career.

Along with the career shift I had also released all of the major obligations I had made over the last three years. I made space. I was claiming what I truly wanted to do, not being controlled by perceived commitments or loyalties to other people or situations. I actually believe this was the pivotal piece allowing me to receive the epiphany of the deck. Challenging ourselves to value and respect our own pathway shows the Universe you are ready to carry a larger dream.  It can be difficult to choose ourselves and our own destiny, but if we really want to fly we need to learn how to do this.

During this time I had been doing career counseling with the gifted Sonya Lea focusing on moving my art into the world. Sonya brings together a background in business and the arts as well as her own writing career and natural intuitive skills through The Tarot. We would work through all of those mediums, weaving together my desire to balance my grounded pragmatism with visionary inspirations. She now calls her coaching “Wild Work,” offering business planning for artists and entrepreneurs to envision their wild lives while creating their work. Part of why I respect Sonya is that she lives the work. She is one of my allies and sisters on this path of passionate creativity. Thank you Spirit. Her Blog link is below, and thanks to Carole Harmon for the amazing picture of Sonya from Cote Savage, Brittany. It’s even a wild sounding place!

http://workingwild.blogspot.com/.

So back to those sparkles. I have so many different skills and interests that it can be hard for me to focus. I want the smorgasbord life, and at times you do need to narrow it down to a few major projects. Sonya and I made a list of the 3 major ways I might bring my creativity into the world. She suggested going home and feeling into each of the potentials to get an idea of how they might play out.  I came up with printing my art on clothing and accessories; pursuing the gallery world; and doing the deck. Now I must say, Spirit snuck the deck in. It was not actually consciously on my radar, but it popped up when we were doing the list. The Universe works in mysterious ways. When I imagined being in the first two situations they were fine, but not a lot of juice…and its pretty clear I am a juice gal. Then I sat there ready for the deck’s impressions and it was like the top of my head was opened and cosmic faery sparkles of divine inspiration blasted down through all my Chakras and then back up to the heavens again.

I was stunned.

My all-time favorite Carolyn Myss work is her Advanced Energy Anatomy CD’s.  She explains the process of divine ideas moving through each of the archetypal issues within the 7 Chakras. It is a process of initiation on many levels to manifest powerful ideas, and the CD’s outline some of the issues and blocks one may encounter at each level of materialization. That process happened to me on an energetic level in about 15 seconds. I knew I was ready to carry this project I had quietly dreamed of for many years.  So, that was the day I started The Oracle of Initiation.

* Chakras are  7 main energy vortexes within the body that each correspond to different levels of  spiritual and emotional energetic balance and development.

Reclaiming The Erotic

In Audre Lorde’s seminal lecture from 1978, “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” from the book Sister Outsider, she beautifully articulates the essential need to return to living within the broadest reaches of creativity, sensuality and intuition. This piece was crafted during the seventies when some Feminists had their own  ‘Backlash” again the masculine, but this piece is ultimately a call for all of us to reclaim the power and potential of embracing our connection to ourselves, our work, and others through a broader definition of The Erotic. With primal respect to Ms. Lorde and her original expression I am moving this into inclusive language….

“We have come to distrust that power which rises from our deepest and nonrational knowledge….We have been taught to suspect this resource, vilified, abused, and devalued in western society. But The Erotic offers a well of replenishing and provocative force to the person who does not fear its revelation….The Erotic is a measure between the beginning of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings.…It is not a question only of what we do; it is a question of how acutely and fully we can feel in the doing…We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, our deepest cravings.”

My work is Erotic. It is also a political act to live from deep within a radical and simple return to each of our authentic knowing.

When I began my self-portrait photography it was a way to explore my own sense of power and identity through the camera lens. I was still in the resurrection process after my husband’s death from cancer, and most of my ideas about life, stability, trust, safety, justice, hope, faith, and love had been blown apart.  The initial Earthen Body photographs were my search for who this woman was now that she had been thrust out of the castle. I had been ensconced in the Princess/Knight “white-picket-fence” paradigm, and now had been released to find my own truths.

I used the ritualistic photographic process to claim who I was beyond external opinions or expectations. Because I was alone, I was able to really open up and release most of the self-consciousness I can be controlled by. This new woman was much fiercer and more intense than I had previously recognized.

What I really came into contact with during my work was my own internal sense of The Erotic. By being nude and exposed on the land I remembered a deep knowing of my place within the earth. I was the soil and the raven and the stream; my boundaries became permeable and I returned to the oneness of all that is.

I gratefully “lost” the sense of self that can be constricting and became a wild and free dervish on the land. It was a place where I can meet the “chaos of my strongest feelings” in a non-linear, visceral, primal way that allows movement and integration from those unconscious and hidden realms.

I also reenter the sacred place of joy and union that is constantly available through stepping deeply into anything that makes us really alive. I stepped into The Erotic.

This blossoming into my passionate  creativity opened the doorways for The Painted Body images here in New Mexico that have been some of the richest work I have done to date. When we open to our larger potentials, we never know what may magically and blessedly materialize. My emergence into my Erotic Self has transformed every aspect of my life from dancing to dreaming, to loving and grieving. I am awake, and it’s not always easy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is a blessed journey we are on, and I want to experience all the twists and turns.

This is Eroticism lived.

Sacred Adornment-The Altar-ing of Self

In my Painted Body photography series for The Oracle of Initiation deck, sacred adornment is a central part of the process.  The talismanic jewels and natural objects I decorate myself with are as altar-ing as the painting itself. The feathers, scarves, crystals & bones all carry an energy and power that radiates beyond their physical existence. In welcoming them into a ceremonial process, they reveal their true essence, offering a glimpse into the inner-glow that everything possesses but we rarely notice. We see that things we perceived as lifeless are actually filled with a sparkling grace.

In Norse mythology, Freya, the Goddess of beauty and love {Scandinavians version of Aphrodite & Oshun} wears a gleaming golden necklace named Brisingamen. It is said to be the most beautiful piece of jewelry in the world. To receive this treasure she spends a night of “love” with each of the four dwarves who crafted the necklace. One of the interpretations of the dwarves is as the four directions of Earth, Air, Fire and Water. I also view them as the richness available within the underworld; the darker inner-places where complexity and contradiction nurture great creativity and visions. Freya returned to her primal elemental connections to claim her true radiance.  I descend into tunnels and caves to see the glow of my own amber abundance.

I too decorate the temple of my body during the photographic process. I become naked & vulnerable, as well as bejeweled & majestic. This is the paradox of the work- getting muddy and becoming a Queen. Offering ones self to the dwarves for the most beautiful necklace in the world. What shadows in your life could be the contrast illuminating your most glorious gifts?

The Locations-how in the world did I get there?

I can’t talk about the Painted Body series locations without bringing in the Earthen Body series first. Over time I will revisit certain pivotal shoots from the Earthen Body series, but for now we shall just share their profound impact on my sense of power, trust and joy.

The Earthen Body series began in Texas after a particularly successful 5 day retreat  Kate Vigneron and I taught at her ranch with women and horses. I had found an incredible bone mask, and took some shots that blew me away-so much so that I hid them for 4 months. My sense of trust in my artistic process and the Universe at large was a little  shaky at that time so I was not sure if the energy that came through the photos was a fluke.

Four months later, on my birthday, I decided to revisit the process at my father’s cabin on The Olympic Peninsula. It is an incredible place, one of 6 cabins grandfathered into the National Forest there. It is perched above the coastal beach, and can only be reached through locked logging roads. I set out barefoot for Seafield Creek, not knowing what I might encounter. As I climbed down a fern covered embankment my Spirits told me, “this is your work.” That second series at the creek also blew me away, and spent the next year taking the photos whenever I could.

Part of why this process was so life-changing was that I uses to carry a lot of fear and anxiety. For me to be naked, alone on the land was HUGE. The other transformational part of the journey was how I was lead to locations. It really was a form of enchantment. I love the Earth; I am a happy pagan- just let me loose  in nature and watch me glow. So I would come upon places that were so beautiful or interesting that I just HAD TO play. And play I did. It got to the point where I would just get in my car and be lead to amazing locations. I learned to trust in my safety, and the wisdom of this guiding force that knew when and where to co-create this incredible ritualistic process.

I took the Earthen Body photos throughout the Pacific coast, The Southwest, and magical magical New Zealand. I never encountered another person during a shoot until New Zealand. I feel like a container, a “field,” was created around the process so I would be left in peace.

So the Painted Body series came directly out of this trust and confidence in the journey and my relationship to the Earth and Unseen Guidance that I was able to step into.

There have been five main locations here in New Mexico where The Painted Body work has been done. Some are graffiti covered tunnels, some arroyos, some mesas and caves. I have taken the photos 27 times myself, once with another. Other than the collaborative shoot I am always alone {earth-plane beings at least}. There are almost 30,ooo photos in this series alone.  As you see in the photos above, I have even stood in rushing water to get my images.

So I continue to be open to delightful and sacred places that draw me to this work, and the emergence of The Oracle of Initiation deck- boy have I manifested well!!

Pushing the envelope-immediate release of New photographs

OK, so this is really big for me. I have had mixed feelings about being “seen” in this lifetime. I have cloistered myself and my work, and that time of exile is OVER. I did the work above yesterday. Very very few people have ever seen my images so quickly. I am heading into a new era where I release my work and let it flow into its own destiny.

I had a dream about dropping two earthen pucks of soil into a river channel where many pathways were meeting. After I tossed them in I wanted to retrieve the two discs, but realized it might be difficult since they probably melted back into the flow. I considered getting the farmer who owned these irrigation ditches to block the flow so I could scoop back up the two potentials I had offered to the Water Spirits. I then realized it was all OK and I would let them go, it was all good. It would be what it would be. So this is my version of letting those destinies merge with the greater river and be in peace.

My good friend and inspiration, The Word Shaman Sonya Lea says when the work is ready  she likes to turn it around quickly so it does not become stagnant. I really heard that when we were doing her transformative Wild Work coaching together and have taken it to heart. {more on Sonya’s important role in the beginning of The Oracle of Initiation divination deck later…}

So today I have turned over a new, vibrant, glowing cottonwood leaf …here is work I just finished, bless it all and thank you to all my Ancestors and Spirits, and this sacred, sacred New Mexico land that calls me and my creative Spirit. Mille Grazie Kwahu Abeja

Roger Ballen’s Startling and Unsettling Visions

Roger Ballen’s work is one of my great inspirations.  He has created a fascinating & shadowy universe through photographing the impoverished whites in their rural South African villages. Since the 1980’s American expatriate and former geologist Ballen turned his camera lens onto the insular world of these Shadow Land people. The images feel like walking into a 1920’s mental ward and becoming a part of their reality. The subjects look like they left this world long ago, or never actually landed, retreating into their own childlike reality.  His palette is a gritty range of grays and blacks punctuated by fascinating arrangements between the models and their surreal world. The rooms feel barren, but may contain naive graffiti scrawled across the cold cement walls, or puzzling still-lives within this irrational world of make-believe and artifice. His shadowy vignettes are the visual equivalent of a Hans Christian Anderson fairy-tale, where everything is not always pretty & bright, and strange things happens in veiled places.

This challenging work has mesmerized me because Ballen has captured some of the central hues of my childhood. My German grandparents were very old-school and clannish. They lived in town, but it felt like the old-country because they only had a wood stove until the late 1980’s. They would send me to school with warmed stones from the firebox wrapped in greasy rags-now tell me that’s not a fairy-tale!! Having survived two world wars, and the period of wild inflation in Germany when you could buy an apartment building for a ham, my Grandfather would save old nails, screws, and even craft new handles for broken hammers. Everything was patched, mended or reworked to extend its purpose.

We had the front of the house, which was brighter and more welcoming, and then the back of the home was more mysterious. It contained many secret thresholds. It was chilly and stagnant in those cloistered rooms, with enough blankets on each bed to smother a small child. I remember feeling both constricted and held in those weighty sleep chambers. Because of my Grandparent’s upbringing I can smell Ballen’s environments; the musty odors of old work clothes and hoarding; the boiled meat & potatoes these kinfolk eat.

A fabulous post on Ballen’s Portland, Oregon show

http://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2008/04/roger_ballen_at_quality_pictur.html

considers the critics who say he is an “artistic mercenary, exploiting his poverty-stricken, post-apartheid white subjects by photographing them in peculiar, unsettling  tableaux that made bizarre theater out of their outsider status and appearance. They might as well have been the hillbillies from “Deliverance.”

Ballen addresses this by saying “ There was something that attracted me to these people, and it wasn’t political or social. It was something about myself.”

What do we see about ourselves in these gateways between vision and madness, the intricate shadows we each carry from our lineages?

Jupiter Arts Center Painted Body photography show

The art show Saturday October 10th was a love-fest!!! Bless all 21 people who drove 160 miles round trip to represent at the opening. And Thanks to Robert Tomlinson the director of Jupiter Arts Center & Gallery in Centralia, Washington for creating great  shows and all the local folks who supported the event as well. One of the fellow artists in the show, Tamara Stephas was also there-she was cool-wish I had more time to bond with her. The work looked amazing and the gallery is a gift to the community there.

Holla to all attending:

Beegee, David, Poppa, Sonja, Ray, Mama, The Ron Man, Darrell, Roberta, Sonya Lea, Cyndi, William, Lisa, Veronica, Mary Beth, Frank, Lindsay, Bruce, Virgiania, Stacey & Ken. profound LOVE to you all!! xoxxx Abeja

Returning to Cascadia and Belonging

Returning home. Where is home?  Do you belong to the land you were birthed on, or to your ancestral heritage, or to the past-life influences that weave throughout this incarnation? How can we reclaim our multidimensionality, belonging again to everything as we once knew?

I ponder belonging a lot.  I am genetically Scandinavian & German, have an extended Japanese family, and feel deeply drawn to a variety of other cultures. Belonging to me is a sense of home. A resting place where you have such peace that you are truly able to sink into it and feel supported. Where your heart is filled with a quiet comfort and knowing. I have found this level of connection within nature & my sacred practices, my artistic creations & adventure travels, and through the dream-time & certain spiritual communities.

I have returned to the land of my birth, Cascadia, for an art show and am pondering where I belong.

I actually feel many of us have been searching for a sense of belonging our whole lives. We have carried a deep sense of isolation at times, remembering enough to know have lived in other ways. We have known connection & cooperation, we have lived our passions, we have been in balance with ourselves and the natural world. I believe we are on the cusp of a profound remembrance. We are on the verge of the 5^th world of harmony and peace that the Hopi prophesized. Just as Homeopathic medicine works, sometimes things get  worse before they become better. That’s where we are now. So hang on, and look for the kinship that reveals itself, and keep the faith through the fatigue and disillusionment because WE ARE THE VISION CARRIERS- do not forget this, and remind each other when we do. We have come here to shift the paradigms, and we all matter.

A HOPI ELDER SPEAKS

“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour, now you must go back and tell the people that this is THE HOUR.

And there are things to be considered…

Where are you living?

What are you doing?

What are your relationships?

Are you in right relation?

Where is your water?

Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community.

Be good to each other.

And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, “This could be a good time! There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Oraibi, Arizona Hopi Nation

So know that I am here, one of the tribe, who is paddling down the river with you.

Blessings, Kwahu  Abeja

Rainbow Journeys to Red Earth

I wrote this at the end of 2006 when I had relocated to the southwest. This is the story of how that all emerged…

When did this journey to the southwest really begin? As with most great journeys, it began years before actually setting out.

I come from both German & Scandinavian lineages, sailors and farmers, people of the earth and sea. I grew up in the lush northwest, never considering I might one day live in an arid climate. I loved hydrangeas and coastal beaches, complaining if it got over 80 degrees.

Looking back for early signs of this quest, I am struck by the power of one image. That one photograph captured my imagination like few other images ever had. In the 1990’s I was on a passionate spiritual quest. I read everything I could get my hands on about people’s sacred paths. Through this process I was searching for my authentic self. The one who loves ritual and reverence, magic and mysticism, creativity and contemplation. The part of me who knew she must dance with The Mystery.

The photograph was on the cover of an anthology of women’s spiritual writings called “Storming Heaven’s Gate.” In the image a woman dressed in flowing garments climbs a ridge overlooking a vast desert. She looks ancient, but is carrying a 1970’s boom box in her hand. It’s called “Angel Woman,” taken by Mexican photographer Graciella Iturbide in the Sonora desert {see above}. I fell in love with that photo, its power and paradox. Who was this magic woman, and what was she doing on this mountain top? Even the plants in the foreground are infused with a supernatural glow. I wished I could have a larger copy of it in my life, but thought it was probably a stock photo and unavailable for purchase.

Some time after that, my photography collecting parents suggested I look through their newest book acquisition. As I leafed through the book Angel Woman popped out at me.

I was blown away, and decided someday I would have that photo in my life. This was when I was still married and living in Seattle.

As you all know, the Universe had other plans for me, and sent me on a seven year Vision Quest. After my husband Chris’ death I did buy the photo, but its larger implications were still years away.

Horses swept into my life, as well as a rededication to my artistic roots. I became a seeker, searching for my blissful power. I went on Medicine Walks and pilgrimages to sacred lands. I visited intuitive horse people and their beloved horse companions. I painted and drew and dreamed and became alive again. I resurrected myself.

Through my travels I found myself returning to the southwest. I spent a lot of time in Arizona, going from one end of the state to the other. The highlight was a group pilgrimage visiting traditional sacred sites, culminating in a visit with a Hopi Elder on the Second Mesa.

The Hopi Pilgrimage came out of meeting Maria and Lynda Yraceburu at two of their Horse Dance ceremonies. In 2006 I had an ominous dream of a vibrating blue Kachina head. I made a five foot tall collaged figure from the dream named “Rainbow Guide”

When I asked Maria about the dream she told me the ancient Hopi prophesy of the Blue Star Kachina dancing in the square. When this happens it will signal the shift from the 4^th world of separation to the 5^th world of peace. She said she was organizing a group to visit some sacred sites of Arizona that her Grandfather, Juan Ten Bears, had been deeply connected to, culminating with Hopi Elder Grandfather Martin Gashweseoma sharing  some of his cultures ancient prophesies. The trip also came from an Apache prophesy of a group of 24 gathering to shift energies and reawaken our universal connection to each other.

Before the Hopi trip I began having dreams of being very happy living on red earth-deep red earth. This surprised me, because I did not think I could handle the heat. I had not realized that if I lived at a higher altitude it would be cooler than the lowlands. I also had an epiphany about Iturbide’s photo. She was a beacon, calling me to a land I could not yet imagine. I moved her next to my bed and let her dream me into being.

Another highlight in Arizona was a transformative workshop at the Epona Equestrian Center. They are doing very important work intuitively partnering with horses.  At the workshop I met a wonderful woman Kate Vigneron. She owns Madera Hills Ranch in West Texas. We hit it off so well she invited me down to visit. The first night I was there I sat in my car and cried. I was under a huge star-studded sky, with no street lights and noise, amidst vast rolling hills. It blew me away. It still does. It is a sacred, sacred place.

Kate and I started doing women’s retreats together, and when my beloved cat of 18 years died, I took Kate up on her offer to make it my first stop on my journey. So this is how I drove 3000 miles to an incredible piece of land in rural, rural west Texas.  And by the way, her land looks like Angel Woman’s terrain.

The trip down was extraordinary. I am so happy soaring down the open highways on my own. The entire trip was guided by an amazing amount of rainbows. In Eastern Washington alone I saw five.  One was a double, with one section so bright it looked like Technicolor Plexiglas. Another flowed perfectly along the geographic striations of the hillside. New Mexico had some great ones. Southern Utah was one giant earth rainbow.

The colors and formations of Utah truly stunned me. I drove through Zion, Escalante, and Capitol Reef National Parks in true awe. I strongly recommend visiting there.

I have always had a thing for Santa Fe. It intrigues me, even though it took me 39 years to get there. On the way down I stayed a week to see if I liked it. I met some wonderful people, and enjoyed its combination of urban resources mixed with the astoundingly beautiful natural areas.

I found a wonderful casita to rent today in a beautiful neighborhood of rolling hills and panoramic views of the surrounding landscape. I anticipate being very happy there. There are even two surrogate dogs I can love!  I am off to Georgia O’Keefe’s Ghost Ranch for a week long retreat tomorrow and then New Zealand for a month. I should be back in Santa Fe by the end of January.

Blessings to all for a joyous New Year,

MelissaBee Horse Dancer

P.S. #1 I saw Graciela Iturbide speak about her work. Someone asked her what her favorite image was. She said Angel Woman, explaining that she entered her darkroom after a day of shooting, and that image was on the negatives. She does not remember being there or taking it.

P.S. #2 Terry Tempest Williams is always good in the Southwest:

I want to make my life a ceremony around slowness.

Time and space.

Open space.

In the desert there is space.

Space is the twin sister of time.

If we have open space, then we have open time to breath, to dream, to dare, to play,

to move freely, so freely, in a world our minds have forgotten but our bodies remember.

Time and space.

This partnership is holy.

In these redrock canyons, time creates space;

An arch, an eye, this blue eye of sky.

We remember why we love the desert;

It is our tactile response to light, silence, and stillness.

Hand on stone patience.

Hand on water music,

Hand raised to the wind is this the birthplace of inspiration?

Tribal epiphanies in graffiti tunnels

So back to the story of how The Oracle of Initiation divination deck was created… in 2008 I had  made the biggest geographic move of my life {other than a youthful jaunt in Italy} to New Mexico. This relocation occurred  six months before The Painted Body series emerged for the deck. I had been working on the deck for over two and a half years and had been stymied by what the artwork would be. Because I am so visually oriented, having grown up in the art world, it didn’t seem “real” to me until I could show people the images. There had been many dreams about humans and animals shape shifting and the creatures on the cards actually moving around. I had no idea how I would do that. I had considered 3-D cards or transparent ones to layer, {LOVE the Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding!!   Holla} but nothing was settling.

I had fallen in love with monotype printing, a very painterly and instantaneous process of working directly on a plate and then running it through a printing press. I spent one of the most joyful days of my life printing with my father and his collaborator Uncle Walty Lieberman at the Pilchuck Glass School-I was hooked. I got to make art in the woods-how does it get any better than that??? When I arrived in Santa Fe I threw myself into monotype courses at the community college and created a series of totemic creatures. The problem was they didn’t have the movement and  power I was seeking. They were flat. I wanted lush, evocative and mysterious.

My work tends to come through epiphanies. An image or an idea literally flashes in my minds eye, and if it’s enticing enough, I follow the inspiration. The series that made the The Painted Body work possible happened this way. The Earthen Body photographic series emerged in 2007 out of three years of travels across the west experiencing the intuitive horse world. That is another pivotal piece of the story-much love and honor to the horse spirits as carriers-but more on that later. The Earthen Body series began when I was teaching women’s workshops with horses on a ranch in west Texas. I had found the most incredible mask-like bone I had ever seen, and had a vision of myself lying nude on the land with the bone. Maybe those Santa Fe Opera posters from my childhood with Georgia O’Keeffe’s skulls floating over the arid landscape had sunken in. I had never done anything like this, and was both excited and intimidated by the thought. Everything is prickly in the desert, and I was still a neophyte. Those photographs sent me on a yearlong trust walk that completely changed me.

See Texas Bones Mask above-the very first image in the Earthen Body series.

Part of the adventure travels reopened a profound connection I have felt to nature since I was a child. The red earth called me to New Mexico, and I spent the first year ambling around exploring every road I could find that lead into a deserted looking mesa or canyon. I had learned to simply follow, and be guided to locations during the Earthen Body process. I had gotten good at this.

During these travels I found some amazing graffiti in hidden waterways and tunnels. For some time I had been considering how to incorporate my profound love of Hip Hop into my work, and this became one of the ways. I had been musing over some especially beautiful graffiti pieces I had just found with pastel colors whose vibrancy  literally resonated within my body.

And then the epiphany came.

I saw myself painted tribaly, dancing in the tunnels with the swirling aerosol rainbows.

I was stunned.

I think on some level this was what I had always been searching for. I had been drawn to shamanism years before because of a core need for ritual and ceremony. I had never found the creative aspects  of sacred ceremony  combined with the depth and intensity I intuitively sensed I needed within the groups I knew.I had taken all of the Earthen Body photographs alone, and found I could open up and be more expansive by myself. This was how I woke up before dawn on June 27th 2008 and went down into a tunnel, alone, beginning this transformative journey… to be continued…